


I Will Always Find You

by hunter_king



Series: Supernatural - Wincest [44]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Barebacking, M/M, Spoilers for Season 8, Swearing, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-05-15 18:21:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 31,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19301245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hunter_king/pseuds/hunter_king
Summary: When Sam realizes that his brother had been blasted to Purgatory after killing Dick Roman, he takes a back door through Hell to save Dean. Only his brother won't leave without Castiel. And as each day passes, it becomes more and more clear that the angel just doesn't want to be found.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> beta'd by jdl71  
> art done by amberdreams which can be found here  
> Written for the 2019 Dystopia Bang

Sam sighed in frustration as he left the warehouse – another dead end lead. When the King of Hell goes into hiding, he _really_ goes into hiding. He'd been following leads for months now, and he still hadn't actually found him. But Sam knew that Dean was alive – he had no idea _where_ he was, but he was definitely alive. Sam would know if his brother was dead – he'd _feel_ it. 

He'd looked everywhere he could think of for Dean. He'd even called on the angels to see if they had any information on Castiel, but everything was quiet. Since Dick Roman's death, Dean and Castiel had gone off the grid. And Sam had no idea how to find them. All he had was Crowley – if there was one bottom feeding pest who could help him, it was going to be Crowley.

Of course, Sam had an idea that maybe when Dean ganked Dick Roman, he'd been standing too close and his brother got tossed into Purgatory with the Leviathan. And if that was the case, Sam wanted to get him out as quickly as possible. So, he had a plan to get there if his suspicions were confirmed. He just needed a little more time to gather everything he needed. And he needed Crowley to confirm his suspicions. 

As he climbed into the Impala, Sam's phone started to ring. “Kevin?” he answered, slamming the driver's side door behind him. “Yeah, I was just there. Another dead end. I still have one more place to check out before all of my leads are dried up. What about you? Did you find all of the ingredients for the ritual?”

The engine roared to life as Sam listened to Kevin explaining that he had everything he needed except a native from Purgatory. “Yeah, I've got you covered on that one,” Sam promised, pulling out of the lot and heading towards his next location. “I'll be back as soon as I check this out. And I'll have what you need. Just sit tight.”

With that, Sam hung up the phone. The drive to Centerville, Michigan was long, but Sam managed to shave off some minutes by driving over the speed limit. He checked in with Kevin's girlfriend at Centerville State College, but he didn't see anything out of the ordinary, so he just left. He'd thought for sure that Crowley would have had this place staked out waiting for Kevin. After all, Kevin had given him the slip, and Sam knew that there was no way Crowley wasn't looking for his prophet. 

When he arrived back at Fairfield, he met Kevin in the abandoned church where they had been holed up since Kevin escaped Crowley's clutches. “I didn't find him,” Sam answered when Kevin asked how it went, obviously deflated. Sam was really starting to lose hope. His brother was out there somewhere – possibly in Purgatory – alone, and there was nothing Sam could do about it. “I don't understand where he could be. I've looked everywhere I could think of. I mean, how many hide outs can he possibly have?”

“Apparently, a lot,” Kevin answered, a small frown on his lips when he realized that Sam's question had probably been rhetorical. “I mean, it's too bad we couldn't just call him and ask him to come meet us somewhere. That would be a big help. And it would save us a lot of time.”

Realization hit Sam like a sack of bricks when Kevin suggested calling Crowley. Sure, he'd called him on the phone multiple times since he'd left the power plant after the Leviathans had been taken out, and he never got an answer. And when Kevin escaped, Crowley hadn't called him to see if the young prophet was with him, so he figured Crowley didn't want to deal. But there was still a something Sam could do. If a demon was summoned, there was no way they could ignore it. And Sam just happened to have all of the ingredients he would need at an old cabin where Rufus used to lie low when he needed a break.

A wide smile came to Sam's lips as he clapped Kevin on the shoulder. “That's it!” he exclaimed. “You're a genius, Kevin!” Gathering all of the supplies that he needed for the ritual, Sam explained, “You stay here. I'm going to head out to Montana. There's a cabin there that has all of the supplies I need to summon Crowley. He can't ignore that call.”

Before Sam could exit the church, Kevin called out to him. “Are you sure this a good idea?” he asked, obviously worried about Sam's safety. “I mean, what if Dean is in Purgatory? You're just going to run in there after him?” When Sam just looked at him as if that wasn't the dumbest idea in the world, Kevin continued, “Sam, it's where monsters go when they die. Does that sound like a good place to be running off to? Especially now?”

Still clearly confused, Sam answered, “I don't have a choice. My _brother_ is in there. Alone. I have to do something, Kevin.” Standing to his full height, Sam continued, “Besides, you don't need me to do what you're doing here. I can't even help with the tablet. I can't read it. So just stay here where you're safe, read the tablet, and figure out how to close those damn gates. You can do this, Kevin.”

Slowly, Kevin shook his head. “I don't know about that. What if they find me. What if when you leave Crowley comes here and tries to get me again? Besides, Dean isn't alone. He has Castiel.” As far as Kevin knew, the angel had been zapped into Purgatory right along with Dean. If Sam went running in after them, then Kevin would truly be alone.

Sam felt bad about leaving Kevin here alone – really, he did. But this was Dean. It was his brother – his _only_ living family. Sam couldn't just abandon him. “I don't know if Castiel went to Purgatory with Dean,” Sam answered. “Not for sure. And even if he did, then that means I have two people who I care about over there. I can't just sit back and do nothing.”

Again, Sam clapped Kevin on the shoulder. “Look, you can handle this. You found that spell to vanquish demons. And you have all of the supplies you need right here. You're going to be fine. If anything comes after you, just use that. And draw Devil's Traps and warding sigils all over this place. Just like I showed you, remember?” 

“Yeah, Sam, I remember,” Kevin answered, honestly a little offended that Sam thought he couldn't remember some simple pictures. “But what happens if you guys can't get back here? Then who is supposed to close the gates of Hell forever, Sam? I want my life back!”

Frowning, Sam nodded. “I know you do, Kevin,” he assured the younger man. “Look, write down this number, alright?” Pulling his phone from his pocket, Sam scrolled through his contacts until he found Jody' Mills' number. “She's the Sheriff in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. She knows a lot of hunters around here. If you don't hear back from me by the time you've cracked the tablet, you call her. She can get you names of other hunter's in the area who can help you. Alright? It'll be fine.”

Although Kevin didn't want to work with another hunter – he trusted Sam and Dean – he nodded regardless. “Okay,” he finally answered, tucking Jody Mills' phone number into his pocket. “Well...good luck, I guess. You're probably going to need it.” Flopping down on one of the sturdier pews, Kevin added, “Just be careful. And bring Dean back.”

With another smile, Sam headed out of the church. He locked the door as best as he could behind him before he climbed into the Impala once more. It was about a day's drive from Iowa to Montana, which meant Sam was going to have to stop somewhere and sleep. He figured that he'd just drive for as long as he possibly could before pulling over. Maybe if he was lucky, he'd be able to make it in one go. But with the amount of sleep he'd already lost tracking down Crowley, Sam highly doubted it. And he knew that if he wrecked the Impala because he'd fallen asleep behind the wheel, Dean would kill him when he finally got back.

Sure enough, Sam had to stop about halfway through, grabbing a motel room for the evening. Bright and early the next day, Sam wasted no time getting back on the road after grabbing an omelet to go from one of the diners close by. 

When he finally made it to Rufus' cabin, Sam gathered the supplies that he needed to summon Crowley. Not wasting any time, Sam drew the sigil he'd head memorized – a triangle enclosed inside a circle – and placed three candles on the table. One at each point of the triangle. He then dumped the various dried herbs, nuts, and preserved fruit he needed into a bowl before igniting the ingredients. Then, he waited for the ritual to work.

Almost within seconds, Crowley appeared. “Moose,” he greeted, obviously bored. “I was wondering how long it would take you to finally find me.” Looking around the room, Crowley frowned. “So...still no Squirrel, I can see. I can only assume that's why you've summoned me here. Well, I'd love to help, really, I would, but I'm afraid I'm horribly busy. Prophets to find, tablets to translate.”

A deep frown came to Crowley's lips when he realized that Sam had been prepared for him with a Devil's Trap. Honestly, he should have known that the younger Winchester was a thorough bastard. The kid usually covered all of his bases. Sighing, he glared at Sam. “Is this really necessary?”

“I knew you weren't going to come here and just stay to hear what I had to say out of the kindness of your heart,” Sam snapped, eyes narrowing at the King of Hell. “So yes, it's necessary. I want my brother back. And you're going to help me get him.”

Crowley almost looked sincerely apologetic when he spoke. “Well, I don't know where he is. So, I'd love to help out, really I would, but I wouldn't know where to even start.” Besides, only having one Winchester to deal with was a lot better than having two, as far as Crowley was concerned.

However, Sam wasn't about to let this go. “I think he's in Purgatory,” Sam explained. “You've opened the door before. And you're going to do it again so I can go find him.” Shooting Crowley his best bitch face, Sam continued, “It's _your_ fault he's over there. So you're going to fix it.”

Again, Crowley frowned deeply. “And what am I going to get out of this deal, Moose?” he demanded. “This isn't exactly an easy task. And surely, I am not going to do this out of the kindness of my heart. So, you need to sweeten the pot.”

Anger bubbled inside Sam when Crowley thought for one second, he was going to get anything out of Sam. “How about this?” he suggested. “You open the door, and I won't kill you.” For a long while, it had been on Sam's mind – find Crowley and ram the knife he'd gotten from Ruby so far into him that he could feel the demon's bones scraping against his blade. But right now, he needed him. And Sam knew that above anything else, Crowley was a survivalist. He'd take the deal. Sam was sure of it.

Although Crowley was about ninety-eight percent sure that Sam wasn't going to kill him, he wasn't about to risk it. “Well...when you put it that way, how can I be of service to you?” he mocked, bowing low in front of Sam. He didn't miss the sneer that came from the younger man at his mockery. “Like I said, I'd love to help, but that ritual your pet angel and I performed needs a lunar eclipse. And since there isn't another one in the near future, there's nothing I can do.”

While Sam was aware that a lunar eclipse wasn't in the cards for him, he'd done his research. “There's another way,” Sam assured Crowley. “But I'm sure you already knew that. Apparently, there's a portal in Hell. And it acts as a back door, so to speak, into the realm. And something tells me that you know _exactly_ where it is. So you're going to take me to it.”

Leave it to Sam Winchester to be a geek boy and do his research. “My, my,” Crowley mused, “someone has been busy.” Sighing, Crowley weighed the pros and cons of letting Sam through the back door through Hell. On the one hand, with both Winchesters trapped in Purgatory, there would be no one around to foil all of his plans. And no one around to protect the prophet. Then, on the other hand, if they somehow managed to come back to Earth, he'd be right back in the same boat that he'd been in before Dean disappeared.

Finally, Crowley decided that the pros outweighed the cons. After all, he could have his minions lock up the back door, and Sam and Dean would be trapped over there and out of his perfectly quaffed hair. “Luckily for you, I've done my research as well. I know where the door is, and I can take you to it. But you need to know that it is a one-way street. Once you go through that door, it locks from the other side, and you can't get back through it. So, you're in charge of finding another way out. I'm sure it won't be too hard for you lot.”

“Just get me there,” Sam ordered, pulling to his full height and walking toward the Devil's Trap. Kneeling, Sam scraped a hole in the paint, releasing Crowley. “I can handle the rest.” Sam had no idea how he was going to get them out of there, but he knew there was nothing that would keep him from going there to look for Dean. He'd figure something out once he had his brother. After all, he and Dean never had a problem solving nearly impossible situations before – he knew they'd figure this out, too.

Once Crowley was free, he snapped his fingers, and Sam found himself in Hell with the King himself. He followed as Crowley led him down a long corridor, trying to ignore the bloodied and beaten souls on the racks begging him for help. They weren't his priority right now. Currently, he needed to focus on getting to Purgatory and finding his brother.

Crowley finally came to the end of the corridor, grabbing a set of keys from a hook beside his head. “Welcome to Purgatory's back door,” he smiled. “How do you even know Dean is in Purgatory?” Crowley asked, realizing that he hadn't thought to ask questions when he'd been locked in the Devil's Trap. “You could be running into a far more terrifying dimension for no reason, Moose. And you still won't have Squirrel for all of your troubles.”

Honestly, Sam had been thinking the same thing for a while. But what was he supposed to do? This was the only lead he had. And there was no way he was just going to sit back and do nothing when his brother was out there somewhere. Possibly out there in Purgatory fighting for his life every day. Sam was willing to take the risk if it meant getting his brother back. “I don't know,” Sam answered. “But I have to look everywhere. And that includes Purgatory.”

It was the only thing that made sense if Sam really sat down and thought about it. Dean and Castiel had both been standing within spitting distance of Dick Roman when Dean landed the killing blow. And when Dick died, he would have had to have gone to Purgatory – that's where monsters went after they died. And it was just too much of a coincidence that both Dean _and_ Castiel had vanished when Dick had been ganked. Sam _had_ to be right about this.

As Crowley opened the door, Sam stomped down the fear that he felt rising inside him. This was not a place any sane human being would ever go willingly. According to Bobby, Purgatory was the like the backside of a person's worst nightmares. With all of the research they'd done, Bobby had figured that it was all blood, and bone, and darkness. Filled with the bodies and souls of all things hungry, sharp, and nasty.

And worst of all, Dean was over there. Probably fighting for his life every day. After all, being that they were hunters, they'd probably sent a lot of the souls over there themselves. And Sam could only imagine that monsters weren't the types to forgive and forget. 

So, Sam didn't have time to be scared. Right now, he had to be brave – he had to be like Dean. Sam knew that if their positions had been reversed, there would have been nothing stopping Dean from walking through this portal. And Sam wasn't going to let anything stop him either. He'd made up his mind about this, and he wasn't going to let fear stop him.

The door opened wider, the sound of rustling wind making it hard to hear the souls begging around him. Before Sam had a chance to even think, the portal sucked him up inside it, pushing the breath from his lungs as he was transported through dimensions.


	2. Chapter Two

Sam grunted in pain as he landed on the ground, hard. Twigs and rocks dug into his flesh through his clothes, pinching and pricking the younger Winchester. Once Sam's body stopped rolling, he slowly pushed himself to his feet, feeling those same rocks and twigs cutting into the palms of his hands. 

Standing to his full height, Sam took a moment to check out his surroundings. It seemed like everything was dull here – the lighting was a lot different from Earth. Sam felt like he was in one of those movies that had a lot of flashbacks and the lighting just never seemed to be quite right. Even the air was different. It was like Sam had to take deeper breaths to draw in enough oxygen to make his body function. 

The trees were all overgrown and barren, going straight up to the sky and blocking any view Sam may have gotten of the sun. Everything here looked dead – absolutely no sign of life from the plants and trees that Sam could see. Where there should have been grass, there was just dead branches, gravel, and dry dirt.

And the smell – like blood, and bones, and death. Being a Winchester, Sam knew it all too well. Slowly, Sam made his way away from the portal back to Hell, figuring that if he just kept moving in one direction, he'd eventually run into something. 

Sure enough, it didn't take long before Sam came face-to-face with a group of monsters. Reaching into the waistband of his jeans, Sam pulled his pistol, ready for a fight. He fired off two shots, the bullets hitting their marks without a problem before he was tackled to the ground. The gun was dislodged from his hands and bounced a few feet away from him, leaving Sam completely defenseless.

As the werewolf above him growled and snapped it's jaws, Sam searched his surroundings for a weapon. Off to the side of him, there was a broken tree branch that Sam figured he could use to get the monster off of him. Quickly, he reached for it, fingers digging into the dirt in an attempt to reach the only weapon he could see. 

It became clearer that Sam wasn't going to get his weapon if he had to hold the werewolf off of him. Quickly, he lifted his knee, shoving the werewolf back away from his face. His knee connected solidly with the small of the monster's back, throwing it off balance. Sam took the opportunity to roll onto his side and snatch p the branch.

Almost as soon as Sam had his weapon, the werewolf recovered. It dove at Sam once more, jaws snapping wildly. Before the monster had a chance to inflict any damage on Sam, the younger Winchester swung his limb, knocking the werewolf off of him. Once he was free, Sam scrambled for his pistol.

Gun in hand once more, Sam fired off another shot. The bullet hit it's mark again, piercing the werewolf through the heart. Sam sagged with relief against a nearby tree as the werewolf's lifeless body fell to the ground.

Honestly, if Dean was here, Sam didn't know what he was expecting to find. After all, he'd been here for less than five minutes, and he'd already been attacked by a pack of werewolves. Dean had been here for almost six months – Sam was worried about what that meant for Dean. But still, he wasn't giving up hope. Dean Winchester had always been a damn good fighter – his brother was fine. Sam knew it.

Pushing away from the tree trunk, Sam glanced in each direction. He needed to find Dean. Quickly, he moved in the direction that he'd been heading before he had been attacked by the werewolf. The monsters here had to know something. A human doesn't just waltz into Purgatory and go unnoticed, Sam was sure. But if they were all going to travel in packs, Sam didn't know how he was going to interrogate them. After all, it wasn't like they were just going to sit still and wait to be slaughtered.

He managed to make it almost a mile before he was attacked again. This time, it was a vampire. And surprisingly, it was alone. The vampire managed to get the jump on Sam, throwing the younger Winchester to the ground roughly. Sam rolled, barely missing the blow aimed at his ribcage. Scrambling to his feet, Sam threw a punch, his fist connecting with the vampire's jaw. 

Again, Sam lashed out, blocking a hit from the vampire. The force of Sam's arm against the monster's knocked the weapon the vampire held loose. Now with no other weapon other than his fangs, the vampire was easier to overcome. Roughly, Sam shoved the monster against a tree, pinning him there.

“You're him,” the vampire hissed, allowing his second set of teeth to descend. “The human.”

At the mention of a human here, Sam's hopes quickly spiked. “There's a human here?” Sam asked, unable to keep the hopefulness out of his voice. He applied a bit more pressure to the vampire's chest where he had him pinned. “Tell me what you know. Where's the human?!”

When Sam applied more pressure, the vampire growled low in his throat. “You mean you're not him?” the vampire asked, obviously confused. “I didn't know there were two humans here. I've only heard of the one. He's fast, brutal, lethal – he's drawn the attention of a lot of things in here.”

Fast, brutal, and lethal – those were all words Sam would use to describe his brother. “I'm new to the area,” Sam answered sarcastically. “Now, _tell me_ where the human is!” He was in no mood to play games with this fang right now.

Angrily, the vampire snapped at Sam, growling again when his actions earned him an elbow to the jaw. “I don't know!” he yelled, not wanting Sam to lash out at him again. “I don't go looking for him. I'm not suicidal. I stay the hell away from him. Word around the street is that he's a hunter. He took out Leviathans and got zapped here because of it. I have no desire to mess with him.”

Dean – if this vampire was telling the truth, that was his brother. “And the angel?” Sam asked, figuring that he should get as much information out of this fang as he could before he had to handle him. “What do you know about him? Is he here, too?”

The vampire shook his head. “I don't know,” he answered. “I stick to myself here. In case you haven't noticed, it's not exactly a friendly place.” Again, he growled when Sam applied more pressure to his chest. “Alright! I heard that there was an angel here, too. But no one has seen him since the first night! The human is looking for him. And he kills everything in his path! That's _all_ I know!”

Sam didn't know if he should believe the vampire's story. If Castiel hadn't been seen since the first night, there was a chance that he was gone. There was a chance that they weren't going to get Castiel back. But Dean was here. He was running around ganking monsters and trying to find their friend. That gave Sam hope. “I believe you,” he finally said. 

With that, Sam grabbed the hand-made weapon the vampire had been carrying and used it to decapitate him. He was a monster, after all. And Sam was a hunter. Besides, the less monsters he encountered in here the better as far as he was concerned.

Now that he had proof Dean was here, Sam had even more determination than when he'd gotten himself into this. If Dean was here, then it was only a matter of time before Sam finally caught up to him. And if Dean was looking for Castiel, all Sam had to do was track him down, too. Surely, it couldn't be that hard to find an angel in God's armpit.

Although Sam didn't know much about what happened to angels when they died, he was pretty sure they weren't sent to Purgatory. This place was something God created to house monsters after their death – angels weren't monsters. So, if an angel was here, there had to be some kind of signs. Sam just needed to figure out what they were. Either that, or he needed to find the right monsters to point him in the right direction.

It shouldn't be too hard. After all, this place was crawling with monsters. And if the vampire was s chatty, there had to be others like him. Sam just had to get the jump on them, and interrogate them like he'd done with the vampire. Eventually, he would come up with a lead. He had to.

**~~**

Sam was beginning to get frustrated. What little light the trees allowed to shine through was fading, which Sam could only imagine meant that night was coming. Seeing how gnarly this place was during the day, Sam could only imagine how bad it got at night. He did _not_ want to be alone here in the pitch black darkness of the night. 

But as the minutes ticked by, he was left with nothing. No monsters had even attacked him in a few hours, he was sure. When he'd first gotten here, the monsters wouldn't leave him alone. And now they were nowhere to be found. Without monsters, there was no way Sam could interrogate anything in order to find Dean. And that was just unacceptable. 

Out of the corner of Sam's eye, he thought he saw something moving alongside the trees. His hunter instincts kicked into full gear as he continued walking – waiting for the monster to come to him. Luckily, it didn't take long. 

The monster jumped out from the trees, hissing at Sam. The younger Winchester barely managed to escape the large, black claws as the monster lashed out at him. Quickly, Sam countered, his large, booted foot connecting with the monster's abdomen, sending her flying into a tree. Now that he got a good look at her, Sam knew that she was a kitsune. He'd dealt with one just last year – well, _Dean_ had dealt with her. And Sam had been pissed off and hurt about it. But at least he knew how to kill it.

Pressing the tip of his stolen blade to the kitsune's chest, Sam smirked. “Relax,” he ordered, watching as the claws retracted and the kitsune's eyes took on a more human visage than the fox-like appearance she'd had before. “Good. I just wanna talk.”

“I doubt that,” the kitsune spat. “I've heard about you. The _human_. All you care about is finding that damn angel and killing everything you come into contact with. Well, I don't know anything. I haven't seen your stupid winged pet. And I don't want any trouble.”

Chuckling, Sam shook his head. All of the monsters here kept telling him they didn't want any trouble, yet they were the ones who had attacked him. “You attacked me!” he reminded. “Not the other way around. And now, you're going to tell me what you know.”

Quickly, the kitsune shook her head. “I didn't know you were the human,” she argued. “I was just looking for weaker prey. It's been a few days since I've fed. But when I realized who you were, I surrendered. You _saw_ that. Besides, I thought the human was...shorter. With less hair.”

Shorter than Sam, and with less hair – with each monster, Sam was getting more and more information about who this human was that they were all scared of. And with each new piece of information, Sam could link the descriptions to his brother even more. “Yeah, well, there's two of us, now,” Sam answered. “I need to know where he is. Tell me what you know.”

Again, the kitsune spat, “I don't know anything! I told you that! Anyone with a head on their shoulders stays the hell away from the human.” Her eyes locked with Sam's as she continued, “He doesn't _belong_ here. Since he's gotten here, it's been worse. We don't only have to hide from each other now. We all have to hide from him. And that angel woke up the leviathans. The meanest, cruelest of all the souls here. And the human isn't the only one looking for the angel. They want him, too. But they're... _hungry_. No one's safe anymore.”

A deep frown came to Sam's lips as he listened to the kitsune explain what had happened since the leviathans came back to Purgatory. From what he could gather, they'd been dormant before Castiel came along and gobbled them up. Now, they seemed to be the biggest threat here – aside from Dean. “The human,” Sam started, pressing against the kitsune's chest a little harder with the blade. “Do you know what his name is?”

“I don't know,” she answered. “And I don't care. All I care about is staying the hell away from him. And if you know what's good for you, you'll do the same.”

Another deep frown came to Sam's lips when he was told to stay away from Dean. Surely, this place couldn't have changed his brother so drastically that Dean would want to hurt him. Sam was his brother – Dean had died for him. There was no way Dean would ever do anything to put Sam in danger. And he sure as hell wouldn't hurt him. Sam knew that for a fact.

Sighing, Sam released his hold on the kitsune. A part of him was telling him that he needed to kill it. But there was another part of him that could only think of Amy. So, he let her go. “Get out of here. And don't let me see you again,” he warned.

As he watched the kitsune run off, Sam knew that if Dean had been here, he would have screamed at him for that. But Sam figured that it wouldn't be a bad idea to have a friend in this dimension. After all, monsters only cared about one thing – destruction. And if he had someone on his side, it would make his life here a lot better, he was sure. Somehow, he'd make Dean understand that when the time came.

Now that he was out of danger for the time being, Sam continued heading North. At least he thought it was North – as far as he knew, he hadn't gotten turned around at any point in the day. The sun was getting lower and lower in the sky – night was approaching, and Sam still hadn't had any luck finding his brother. Purgatory was clearly a lot bigger than Sam had initially thought. 

When he'd first walked through that portal, he thought he would have been able to cover more ground. But he knew enough not to try to look for Dean at night here where monsters ruled the dimension. That was just asking for trouble. Besides, Sam hadn't been able to do a whole lot of research about what kinds of monsters could be lurking here. For all Sam knew, there were a whole slew of creatures here that he and Dean had never even heard of. 

His attention ticked to the sky once more, trying to determine how much more daylight he had left. If it was anything like Earth, Sam estimated that he had about thirty minutes. Which meant he could cover a few more miles and hopefully find a safe place to set up camp for the evening. Honestly, Sam wasn't sure how much sleep he would manage to get here, but he'd try his best. After all, if he wasn't taking proper care of himself, he could kiss his chances of finding Dean goodbye. He had to be on his game in here.

Sam continued to make his way through the woods, all of his senses on high alert. He felt like he was being followed. But it was different from when the kitsune had been after him. This felt like he was being stalked – like something was watching his every move, just waiting to strike. It made Sam feel extremely uncomfortable.

Maybe, if the situation had been different, Sam would have called out. But here, Sam could have been dealing with literally _anything_. He knew that there was a chance he was also a target for the Leviathan. After all, they'd been terrorizing him on Earth all year just as much as they'd been Dean and Castiel. Just because Dean had been the one to gank their leader didn't mean Sam wasn't on their list, too. And the last thing Sam needed right now was a Leviathan attacking him when he had no Borax in tote.

Then again, he didn't even know if the rules were the same here. Could Borax kill Leviathan in their own realm? Maybe it was just as simple as beheading them? Sam felt so out of his element. He would have given anything to have Bobby here with him right now. Bobby would have known what to do. Hell, _any_ of his fallen comrades would have been good to have around right now. But Sam was utterly and completely alone. And he _hated_ it.

Suddenly, there was movement from the trees. Sam braced himself, eyes darting around his surroundings, waiting for the inevitable attack. The blade he'd stolen from the vampire this morning was held tightly in his hand, his palm slightly sweaty as adrenaline coursed through his veins – he was ready for whatever was coming for him.

The sound of a tree branch snapping had Sam's attention moving to the right moments before he caught a glimpse of his attacker. Before Sam even had a chance to react, he was tackled. A surprised shout ripped from Sam's lips as his back hit the unforgiving ground.


	3. Chapter Three

Gravel bit into Sam's back through his shirts as he wrestled with his attacker. Whatever he was up against, it was strong. He was pinned to the ground before he knew what was happening. Sam thought he was a goner. But he wasn't about to give up that easily.

Sam focused on his task, gathering as much strength as he could muster in his current position and planting his feet. His grabbed his assailant's arm before he rolled, flipping them so that he was now on top. He tried to lash out, but his punch was slapped away and a fist connected with his jaw. He tried again, but his attack was blocked once more.

Anger bubbled inside Sam when he couldn't get a leg up in this fight. He was better than that! Dammit, he'd been trained by John Winchester – he knew how to fight! Dodging the blow that was directed towards his head, Sam somersaulted off of the body beneath him. He landed on his feet, quickly pulling to his full height. He was better on his feet.

However, before he had a chance to get a good look at what he was up against, a booted foot hooked behind his right leg. The boot jerked forward, dragging Sam's foot with it, throwing the younger man off balance. Sam barely had time to throw his hands out in front of him to catch himself so he didn't face plant into the dirt. Sam didn't waste time as he scrambled to his feet once more.

When he turned in the direction that his opponent had been just moments before, Sam was met with nothing but dead space. Confused, Sam looked from left to right, trying to figure out which way his attacker could have gone.

It didn't take long to realize him mistake when he was grabbed from behind. One arm wrapped around his waist, pulling him back against the hard planes of muscle and flesh while the other arm wrapped around his chest, knife pressed tightly against his throat. Sam's hands shot up on instinct, holding the arm that was keeping the weapon pressed against him.

“Do you think this is funny?” the voice came from behind Sam, forcing the air out of the younger man's lungs. Sam knew that voice – he'd know that voice from anywhere.

The air quickly returned to Sam's lungs as he breathed, “Dean. Hey, Dean relax.” Dean's knife pressed against Sam's throat harder, causing Sam to suck in his breath. “Dean, c'mon, it's me. It's Sam. Let me go.”

Again, the knife tightened against Sam's throat. Dean really wanted to draw blood, but he didn't. “Yeah?” he asked, chuckling humorlessly. “I almost believe that. Except _my brother_ isn't here. So whatever it is you're doing, stop. _Now_.”

Sam didn't know how he was going to get out of this. Dean wasn't budging, and if Sam moved too quickly, he risked cutting himself with the knife. And an injury to the jugular wasn't exactly something Sam would classify as a good time. “Dean, just let me go,” he suggested. “I can prove it to you. I'm Sam. But you gotta let me go.”

Slowly, eyes locked on Sam, Dean pulled back. He wasn't buying it. Not for one second. This place had a tendency to play with his head. And this wasn't the first time he'd seen his brother here and thought that he was saved. Of course, that was usually after a few days of no sleep, food, or water, but there was a first time for everything he supposed. 

_Dean_ – there he was. All bloodied, dirty, musky, and just _Dean_. Sam wanted to cry – for a minute, he thought he actually might. But that was quickly tossed out the window when Dean grabbed his arm and ran his blade over it. Pain flared through Sam's forearm, causing him to gasp. “Dean, m'not a...shifter,” Sam mumbled, yanking his arm away from his brother. “Dean, it's me. I'm _me_.”

So, Sam wasn't a shifter. That was good enough for Dean. After all, from what he'd learned, Leviathans couldn't take on the shape of anyone who hadn't been in Purgatory when they were shipped back here. And demons didn't come into these parts. Still, Dean wanted to be as thorough as he could be without holy water and borax. 

Short, blunt nails scraped across Sam's skin when Dean grabbed the collar of his shirt. Without a word, Dean forced the fabric down to reveal Sam's tattoo. It wasn't much, but it was enough confirmation for Dean. “Sammy?” Dean asked, brows knit in confusion. “How are you here?”

Now that Dean wasn't intent on attacking him, Sam could finally let the realization that he'd found his brother sink in. Without thinking, Sam threw himself into Dean's chest, arms wrapping around his brother in a tight hug. His eyes slipped closed when he felt Dean's strong arms wrapping around him as well, Sam sinking into the feeling. 

After a few minutes, Sam puled back, just looking at Dean. “I've been looking for you for months, Dean,” Sam explained. “After you killed Dick, you just...vanished. It took me a while to figure out that you might have gotten blasted here, but once I thought about it, then I just needed to find Crowley. He'd gone into hiding after he took Kevin.”

“Crowley took Kevin?” Dean asked, a deep frown on his lips. He didn't like the idea that Sam was here, but he had to admit that he was grateful. With two of them here now, he wasn't alone in this world anymore. Then again, he wasn't happy about Sam coming into this Hell dimension – for lack of a better term. “Yeah, turns out standing too close to exploding Dick sends your ass straight to Purgatory.”

A deep frown came to Sam's lips when he explained how he'd gotten here. And he'd been here for _months_ while Sam had been trying to find him. While he'd been trying to track down Crowley, and get a doorway open to here, Dean had been fighting for his life every single day. And from the looks of it, he'd been alone. “Dean, what about Cas?” he finally asked, brows knit in confusion. “Is he here?”

At the mention of Castiel, Dean stiffened a bit. He didn't know where the angel was. He'd been scouring this place looking for him, but so far, he hadn't had any luck. That first night when they'd been zapped here, Castiel vanished, and Dean had been searching for him ever since. But honestly, he wasn't even sure Castiel wanted to be found. That wasn't going to stop him though. He wasn't leaving here without his friend. “Yeah, he's here,” Dean assured Sam. “I just...we got separated a while back, and I haven't been able to find him. But I'm not giving up.”

The thought of Dean losing Castiel while they were in here hit Sam hard. He knew that his brother always took everything to heart – he always blamed himself when people he cared about got hurt or went missing. Sam could only imagine how long Dean had been kicking himself for losing the angel while they were here. But Sam was here now – he was going to do everything he could to help Dean find Castiel. “I know you're not,” Sam assured his brother. “And I'm here now. We can find him together.”

Again, Dean asked, “How are you here?” It didn't make sense to Dean. He knew how he'd gotten here, but he wasn't aware of any ways in or out of this place. And he'd been here for a while. “I mean, the ritual that Cas and Crowley used required a lunar eclipse, and I don't think I've been in here _that_ long. And I highly doubt Death was looking to do us any more favors.”

Honestly, Sam hadn't even thought to ask Death if he'd make another lunar eclipse happen. For one, he wasn't sure if there was a limit on how many of those Death could summon. And two, after their last encounter, Sam wasn't sure Death would be really happy to see him. After all, they had chained him up. “Uh, yeah, I found another way in,” he finally answered. “Crowley opened a back door through Hell. But apparently once I used it, there's no going back. He told me I'd have to find another way out.”

Of course it wasn't going to be that easy – nothing ever was for the Winchesters. “What the hell were you thinking, Sammy?” Dean chastised. “With both of us in here, who's out there hunting? Who's saving people, Sam? And what about Kevin? Someone needs to be out there finding him, Sam!”

Before the conversation could get too out of hand, Sam tried to cool it off. “Dean, it's fine,” he promised. “Kevin got away from Crowley – that's why Crowley was in hiding. He's somewhere safe, working on trying to crack the tablet. I gave him Jody's number in case he doesn't hear from me, alright?” What Sam found even more amusing was that Dean was worried about _everyone_ except himself. Typical Dean Winchester. “And there are other hunters out there, Dean. They can work the small jobs. I needed to find you.”

_I needed to find you._ Codependency at it's finest. Dean wanted to crack a joke about it, but he refrained. Honestly, he was glad that Sam had come for him. He was losing his mind here, and if he had to spend one more night alone, he wasn't sure he would be able to do it. Of course, he wasn't going to let Sam know that. “You should have focused more on keeping Kevin safe. What if something happens to him while you're in here worrying about me?”

“Dean, it's fine,” Sam promised once more. “Kevin is safe. He's got an arsenal around him, and he knows how to kill demons. There was a passage in the tablet, I guess. So, he's stocked up on ingredients, and he's locked down with Devil's Traps and holy water squirt guns. He'll be fine.”

Holy water squirt guns – that was an image. “So, he cracked the tablet?” Dean asked, slightly curious about what was on it. After all, it was a demon tablet – the word of God. There had to be some kind of useful information on that thing that they could use. And the sooner Kevin cracked it, the better. Of course, they'd have to get out of here first. Dean had checked – they didn't have cell phone service here.

Sam shook his head. “Not completely,” he answered. “At least I don't think so. I mean, when I left, he hadn't read anything else from it. Just the part about killing demons. That's how he got away from Crowley. He sent him on some kind of wild goose chase and took out his lackeys.”

In all honesty, Dean had to admit that he was impressed. Of course, he should have known that Kevin could have come up with something like that. The kid had an IQ that was off the charts. He was basically like Sam – Kevin just applied himself differently. “Well, alright,” Dean started, smirking at his brother. “Let's find Cas and get the hell out of here so we can be there when Kevin cracks that tablet.”

Although Sam was all for finding Castiel and getting out of this place, the sun was almost gone from the sky. And even if he did have Dean with him here now, he didn't want to spend the night out in the open where monsters were undoubtedly lurking. “Um...Dean, m-maybe we should start our search tomorrow,” Sam suggested. “When the sun comes back out.”

Smirking, Dean playfully slapped Sam's arm. “Oh, Sammy, you can't tell me you're still afraid of the dark,” he teased. He couldn't blame Sam for not wanting to be out here when the sun went down, though. Dean hadn't spent a night out in the open since the fist night he'd gotten here. And that was only because he'd spent the night running from the Gorilla-Wolves. He hated those damn things.

Another deep frown came to Sam's lips when Dean teased him. “You know what I mean, Dean,” he argued. “The monsters here are probably a lot better at seeing and being stealthy in the dark than we are. So, maybe we should just find a place and set up shop until tomorrow morning. You know, so that we actually _make it_ to morning.

“Oh, you have no idea, Sammy,” Dean mused. He was getting better at traveling through the dark, but he wasn't about to chance it now that Sam was here. The kid was big – he had heavy footfalls, and every monster out there would hear him coming. Especially on this terrain. “I have a place,” he explained. “It's about ten minutes north. We can set up there for tonight.”

Sam wasn't sure if they had another ten minutes of daylight to reach Dean's camp. But, they didn't have any other options at this point, so he merely nodded. “Lead the way,” he instructed, following after Dean when the older Winchester started moving in the direction of their sleeping grounds for the evening. Honestly, Sam still wasn't even sure if he could sleep here. Obviously, they were going to have to switch off through the night so the other could get some sleep. Otherwise, they might not wake up the next morning because some monster came an ripped their throats out while they were sleeping.

Damn, Sam really needed to stop thinking such horrible thoughts. He and Dean were fine – they were reunited, and everything was fine. Tomorrow, hopefully they'd find Castiel, and they would be out of this damn place for good.

Almost as soon as they started walking, they were attacked by a group of werewolves. Sam recognized a few of them from a hunt he'd done with Samuel back when he'd lost his soul. They didn't seem to recognize him though, which he was taking as a good sign. Instead, they were more focused on using their teeth and claws to bite and rip into the Winchester's flesh.

One of them grabbed Sam around the waist, dragging him to the ground before scrambling to get on top of him. Sam's arm shot out instantly, holding the werewolf's snapping jaws back. He groaned in protest when the monster above him exuded superior strength. He remembered that these guys had been pure bloods, which made them stronger. “Dean!” Sam yelled, not sure if his brother was okay, but wanting to at least hear some sort of response.

The only response Sam got was the monster above him crumbling on top of him, decapitated. Sam watched as it's head rolled a few feet away from him. Groaning in protest, Sam rolled onto his side, shoving the dead weight off of him. 

Covered in blood now, Sam knew that any hopes of remaining off the radar were out the window. He was sure now anything was going to be able to smell him from miles away. “Thanks Dean,” Sam remarked sarcastically. Taking the hand that Dean offered to him, Sam allowed Dean to help him off the ground. “Do you think maybe next time, you can at least get the damn thing off of me before you behead it and get blood all over me?”

Frowning deeply, Dean rolled his eyes. “Sorry, Princess,” he snarked back. “I didn't know this was a damn beauty contest.” Wiping his blade across his already stained jeans, Dean promised, “Next time I'll make sure you're in the clear before I save your ass from getting eaten.”

Now, it was Sam's turn to roll his eyes. “That's not what I meant,” Sam argued. At least Dean hadn't lost his argumentative streak while he'd been here. That was a plus. It meant this place wasn't changing his brother, which he was counting as a win. “I just mean, now everything's going to be able to smell us coming from a mile away.”

Confusion was clear on Dean's features as he turned away from Sam, starting to move towards camp once more. “They can already smell us coming from a mile away, Sam,” Dean assured his little brother. “In case you haven't noticed, before we got here, there were just monsters. _Everything_ knows about the human who's been here. I haven't come into contact with a single thing yet that didn't know about me.”

Well, when Dean put it that way, Sam supposed he had a point. “Yeah, I guess so,” Sam mumbled, following after Dean once more. He should have known that from all of the monsters he'd encountered in the few short hours he'd been here. The ones that actually spoke to him thought he was _the human_. Like it was some massive feat – though Sam supposed in here, it was. Purgatory probably didn't have many humans dropping by the say howdy. Not that Sam blamed them. This place was not a vacation spot he'd choose to come to, that was for sure.

“What's it been like, Dean?” Sam asked, feeling the overwhelming need to hear about his brother's time here. Judging by what his time had held so far, he wasn't sure he was going to like the answer. But he could tell that Dean was different. He was shaky, and on edge – it was a look Dean had only after a hunt, usually. Now, it was like it was a permanent look for the older man.

Right now, the last thing Dean wanted to do was swap stories with Sam about his time here. “You wouldn't believe me if I told you,” he answered, trying to deflect the subject. But Sam pushed him. Damn, Sam always pushed him. “It's bloody,” Dean finally answered. “31 flavors of bottom-dwelling nasties. Hell mmost days it feels like 360-degree combat.”

Suddenly, Dean stopped, head turning towards Sam as he reminisced about his time here. It hadn't all be bad, after all. Sure, fighting for his life every day wasn't exactly what he'd call fun, but it did have it's perks. He was becoming an even better hunter. And honestly, he was having _fun_ while doing it. “But there's something about being here,” he continued, eyes distant, as if he was looking at something Sam couldn't see. “It feels...pure.”

When Dean explained how he felt being here, Sam swallowed. He didn't say anything as Dean started leading them to the camp once more. So maybe his brother wasn't alright being here. Sam could fix it. When they got out of here, he'd make everything better. He had to.


	4. Chapter Four

Dean tossed his weapon onto the ground once they'd made it to the camp that he had set up. He'd been here a couple of nights now, and nothing had attacked him, so he figured that it was safe to disarm himself. After all, news had to have traveled that he and Sam were now here together – no monster in their right mind would want to take on _both_ Winchester brother's at one time. He was safe – or as close to safe it he could get here.

Having Sam here made Dean feel better about the whole situation. Sure, he'd screamed at the younger man for being so reckless and coming here when there were people who needed saving, and a prophet to protect, but deep down, Dean _wanted_ Sam here. Ever since they were younger, Dean had felt stronger when his little brother was around. And honestly, he didn't care about those people as much as he was letting on. They'd spent their whole lives protecting people – they deserved a day off here and there. 

“I'll get a fire going,” Dean suggested, having noticed that Sam was shaking. He wasn't sure if it was because of the cold, or for some other reason. Lord knew there were a helluva lot of other reasons for Sam to be scared here. 

Although Sam wasn't sure lighting up the night sky with a fire was such a good idea, he didn't protest. Purgatory was colder than he thought – had he known, he would have brought a jacket. But it was too late for that now. All he could do now was cuddle up against the flames and try to keep warm. It was easier in the day when the sun was beating down on him – and he were running for his life. It was kind of hard to get cold then.

But when the sun had disappeared, and everything seemed peaceful, for a lack of a better word, Sam was chilly. Luckily for him, Dean knew how to get a fire started, and it wasn't long before the warm flames were shooting up from the ground, heating Sam's chilled body. “Are you gonna get some sleep?” Sam asked. “I can take first watch. I'll wake you up when I get tired.” 

Honestly, Sam wasn't sure if he would be able to stay up much longer, but he would try. He hadn't slept in almost twenty four hours, and even then, it had only been for a couple of hours. Between hunting down Crowley and trying to figure out the tablet with Kevin, Sam hadn't been sleeping much these days. But seeing as how Dean had been here the whole time, Sam was sure his brother had it rougher. 

The idea of even trying to get some sleep right now made Dean kind of nauseous. The last time he'd tried to catch some sleep, it hadn't gone well. Ever since he came here, he'd been plagued with horrible nightmares – sometimes he'd go days without sleep until his body just gave out on him and he passed out from exhaustion. But that had just happened last night – at least he thought it was last night – so he was good.

A small smile came to his lips as he watched Sam huddle into the fire as close as he possibly could without catching the flames himself. The kid looked like he hadn't slept in days. “No Sammy, m'good,” he assured his brother. “You go ahead and get some sleep. I'll wake you up when I get too tired.” Of course, Dean knew that wasn't going to happen, but he didn't have to tell Sam that. If Sam knew that he wasn't sleeping, the younger man would want to make a big deal about it. And Dean just wasn't in the mood for that right now. “Besides, you look like you're about to fall asleep at any second. You need it more than I do.”

Unsure of how that was even possible since Dean had spent the last few months in a Hell dimension, Sam could only manage a snorted laugh. “Yeah, well, looking for your ass is exhausting,” he teased, allowing his body to relax into the dirt as much as possible. It was hard, and a little bit prickly where the gravel dug into him, but surprisingly not the worst place he'd had to sleep in his lifetime. Hell, he was pretty sure it was better than some of the motel beds they'd spent the night on. 

At Sam's words, Dean barked out a laugh. “Hey, no one told you to come looking for me,” he playfully shot back. “I'm sure I could have found a way out on my own. Besides, didn't we always say that we weren't going to go looking for each other when one of us disappeared? Yet, here you are – coming to find me.”

“I'll always find you,” Sam assured his brother, the joking tone completely gone from his voice. “G'night, Dean.” He barely managed to get the words out before sleep pulled him into unconsciousness. That night – for the first time in a long while – Sam surprisingly was able to get some restful sleep.

**~~**

Sunlight shining directly into his eyes had Sam groaning in protest as he was ripped from sleep. “D'n?” he slurred, eyes blinking open and instantly searching for his brother. When he saw Dean throwing dirt over the fire pit, Sam released the breath he hadn't even realized he'd been holding. “Hey,” he greeted, pushing himself into a seated position. “Did you get any sleep last night?” Sam knew that it was a stupid question. After all, Dean hadn't woken him up to keep watch.

Tramping down the snarky comment Dean wanted to answer with, he merely shook his head. “Wasn't tired,” he offered instead. “And you looked like you were actually sleeping peacefully, so I didn't want to wake you up. It's fine. I'm fine.” And he was – at least for now.

He really didn't like the idea of Dean staying awake all night just to let him get some shut eye. But that was just like his brother – look out for Sammy. It had always been that way. Ever since Sam could remember. And while it was flattering, Sam really hated it sometimes. Especially when Dean didn't take care of himself because he was too busy worrying about taking care of Sam. “Yeah, I guess,” he finally mumbled.

As he pushed himself to his feet, Sam gave his body a much needed stretch. He was achy from the night before, and he just needed his damn back to pop. When he had been with Jessica, she'd rubbed his back for hours when his body got like this – he really missed her, even now. Pushing those thoughts out of his head, Sam turned his attention to Dean once more. “So, what's on the agenda today? I'm thinking we start looking for a way out of here. Since that portal I came through won't open again. It might take us a while to find another escape route.”

When Sam started talking about escape routes, Dean frowned deeply. “What do you mean what's on the agenda?” he asked, distinctly recalling telling Sam last night that he wasn't leaving this place without Castiel. “We have to find Cas. We're not going anywhere without him.”

Right, Castiel – how could Sam forget. “Oh yeah,” he mumbled. “I meant after we find Cas, obviously. Jeez Dean, I'd never suggest leaving him here.” And he wouldn't. It was just stress. Sam was stressed out about being in this place. And he was stressed out about Dean not getting any sleep the night before. Plus, he was stressed out about not having a guaranteed exit from this place. And now, on top of all of that, he was stressing out about finding Castiel. “So, what do you suggest we do?” he asked, figuring Dean would know better than he would since he'd been here longer.

“The same damn thing I do every day, Sammy,” Dean answered, picking up his weapon. “We go interrogate monsters until something tells me where I can find him.” Of course, Dean's plan hadn't worked all that well up until now, but he wasn't giving up. And this was the best plan he had, so until they could come up with something different, Dean was going to keep doing it.

Although Sam didn't think doing the same thing that Dean had been doing for months now was a good idea, he really didn't have an alternative to offer up just yet, so he kept his mouth shut. Instead, Sam grabbed his own weapon and followed his brother out of the camp. Silently, he prayed to whoever the hell might be listening that they found Castiel in a timely manner. Clearly Purgatory couldn't be _that_ big. And if he found Dean in less than a day, there was no reason they couldn't find Castiel in the same time frame. 

Unless the angel just didn't want to be found. And that thought alone was enough to have Sam's skin crawling. Maybe this was one mission they weren't going to complete. After all, if Castiel wanted to stay away, there was no doubt in Sam's mind that he could evade them forever. He was an angel, after all. Either that, or Castiel just couldn't be found because he was dead.

No, Sam wasn't going to think like that. Dean had survived here this long, so there was no reason Castiel couldn't have done the same thing. Sure, there were probably Leviathans after him, and who knew what else, but Castiel could handle himself. Hell, Sam had _watched_ him handle himself against monsters – he was fine.

Still, there was that nagging feeling in the pit of Sam's stomach that maybe something got him. It only took one good shot. It happened to even the best hunters. All it took was a bad day – one wrong move, and it could be over for good. Maybe the same applied for Castiel. Although at this point, Sam had kind of convinced himself that Castiel was invincible. But eventually, everything died – and stayed dead.

Shoving those thoughts down where they belonged, Sam followed after Dean, making sure to keep his instincts on high alert. He was Dean's back up right now. And the older man hadn't had that in quite a while, so Sam didn't want to disappoint him now.

**~~**

Hours had passed by since the last time they'd seen any signs of life. The sun was starting to get low in the sky, and Sam's feet were absolutely killing him. They'd searched all day long for Castiel, and there was still no sign of him. Sam was starting to wonder if maybe Castiel hadn't cloaked himself from them like he'd done last year when he stole those journals from Bobby's house.

Which raised another question – just how much of Castiel's power actually worked here? Clearly, he could zap himself away. He'd done that when he and Dean had gotten here from the story Dean had told. But Sam wondered if he could kill monsters with just a touch, or if he could cloak himself. It would explain why it was so damn hard to find him right now.

“Dean, we should start looking for somewhere to set up camp for the night,” Sam suggested. “It's getting dark out. We'll have to keep looking for him tomorrow.” He could see the absolute defeat in Dean's eyes when the older man realized that Sam was right. “Hey, we'll find him,” Sam assured Dean, one hand clapping over Dean's shoulder. “He's fine. And we're gonna find him. And then we're all gonna get the hell outta here. We're gonna go home.”

Home – Dean wasn't even sure what home was anymore at this point. There was a time when he'd considered Bobby's place a home. But that had been blown to hell when Dick Roman put a bullet in the older hunter's skull. Now, Dean couldn't even go there without rage overwhelming him. The Impala had always felt like home to him – his baby was always there for him when he needed her. But taking out the Leviathan's had put her out of commission. 

So home to Dean was Sam. And Sam was right here with him, so he was home already. But he knew what the younger man meant. “Yeah, I know Sammy,” he assured his brother, faking a smile that didn't even come close to reaching his eyes. “C'mon, I think I saw a clearing a couple miles back. We can set up camp there for the night and then look for Cas again tomorrow.”

While he and Sam were collecting wood for the fire, Dean's thoughts headed in a dark direction. There was no way Purgatory was this huge. Dean had been here for months searching for Castiel, and he hadn't found anything. A lot of the monsters here were telling Dean that Castiel was dead – the Leviathans had gobbled him up just like he did to them when he released them from Purgatory. But Dean had refused to believe it. Castiel wasn't dead – he couldn't be.

Now though, after so many weeks – months – of not finding anything, Dean was starting to lose hope. And Sam was here now, so it wasn't just him that he had to worry about anymore. One wrong move, and any one of these nasties could take his brother from him. Honestly, Dean wasn't sure how long he was willing to risk that. Maybe the monsters weren't lying – maybe Castiel had been Leviathan chow. And then all of this was for nothing.

But then again, maybe he wasn't. And if Dean left and gave up on his friend, then he'd never be able to forgive himself. He was between a rock and a hard place, and Dean just didn't know what to do right now. Continue looking for Castiel, or find a way out of this damn place. Ultimately, looking for Castiel won out over everything – they were practically family. And you don't leave family behind for any reason.

Once camp was set up, Dean sat close to the fire, staring at the flames. When he'd first gotten here, he thought maybe the fire would draw Castiel out. He'd waited for hours trying to stay awake so he'd know if Castiel was there. Usually, he'd fallen asleep, but there had been no signs of the angel in the morning. Then the nightmares started, and Dean just stopped waiting for a miracle. “You go ahead and get some sleep, Sammy,” Dean offered. “I'll keep watch.”

“No way,” Sam argued. “You kept watch all night last night. It's my turn tonight.” Shoving at Dean's shoulder, Sam plopped down next to the fire beside his brother. “I'll wake you up if I get too tired, alright? Get some sleep.”

Dean wanted to protest, but the look on Sam's face shut him down before he even began. Sam had that no arguing look he got when he was being particularly bitchy, and Dean just didn't want to deal with a fight tonight. Sighing, he rolled onto his side by the fire, just staring at the flames. “You know, you can be a real bitch sometimes,” he jabbed playfully, trying to shut his brain off for the evening.

Chuckling, Sam huddled in on himself, trying to stay warm. “Yeah, you're a real jerk, too,” he shot back without malice, smiling so wide his dimples dented his cheeks. He couldn't remember the last time he'd smiled like that – he missed it.

After a couple of hours, Sam finally noticed that Dean had fallen asleep. He didn't like that his brother seemed to be fighting sleep. Dean looked like he hadn't slept in days, and it wasn't good for him. Sighing, he huddled into the fire a little closer, allowing his eyes to shoot towards Dean every now and then to make sure his brother was still asleep.

_”Wake up,” the deep, rumbling of the familiar voice rang through the air, causing Dean to open his eyes. “Good. We need to get out of here.”_

_Slowly, Dean pushed to his feet, eyes surveying the area around him. It was dark, almost pitch black. The silence around his was deafening as he took in his surroundings. The chilly air bit into his skin through the leather jacket he was wearing. He had no clue where he was, but he already didn't like it. “Where are we?” he asked, eyes landing on his companion._

_The look of absolute horror was clear on Castiel's face as he allowed his own eyes to scan the area around him. “You don't know?” Castiel asked, sounding quite shocked. Maybe it was the fact that he was an angel, and he was familiar with all of the realms, but he knew_ exactly _where they were._

 _Dean tried to wrack his brain and remember what happened that had landed him here. Wherever here was. But there was nothing ringing a bell. “Last I remember, we ganked Dick,” he answered, feeling pride swelling inside him at the memory. They'd taken on Daddy Leviathan – and they'd_ won _. He needed a minute to celebrate that._

_Nodding, Castiel continued to scan his surroundings. He didn't trust anything here. If he wasn't on alert, something could come out and attack them at any minute. And here in the dark, with no weapons, they were easy prey. “And where would he go in death?” Castiel asked, trying to get Dean to understand the severity of their current predicament._

_Realization slowly dawned on Dean. No, there was no way. It was impossible. “Wait,” Dean started, head snapping to the side as he became hyper aware of all of the noise here now. “Are you telling me...” He couldn't finish his sentence. It just sounded too bizarre to him._

_However, Castiel's answer confirmed exactly what Dean refused to believe. “Every soul here is a monster,” Castiel explained. There was a rustling in the trees, causing both of their attentions to focus on the noise. “This is where they come to prey upon each other for all eternity.”_

_Still having a hard time believing that they were actually in Purgatory, Dean barely repressed the snorted laugh that wanted to escape him. “We're in Purgatory?” he asked, eyes moving to glance at Castiel once more when the noise turned out to be nothing. “How do we get out?”_

_Without hesitation, Castiel answered, “I'm afraid we're much more likely to be ripped to shreds.” There was another noise from the trees, the sounds of monsters checking out the fresh meat._

_Two large figures with red eyes stood just behind the trees, shadowed except for the bright glow of their irises. They were just standing there – watching him. It made Dean uncomfortable. “Cas, I think we better—” he started, slowly dragging his eyes away from the monsters to look at Castiel once more. However, when he turned his head, Castiel was gone. “Cas?” he called out in a whispered yell._

_Panic rose in his chest as he turned his head, glancing around the desolate forest in search of his friend. Surely, Castiel wouldn't just leave him here like this. Again, the rustling of the watching monsters filled the air. And Dean realized that he was in Purgatory, absolutely, and utterly alone._

“Dean!” Sam called out, jumping slightly when Dean tensed and reached for his weapon. “Hey, it's me!” he explained, his hand flying off of Dean's chest to raise in the air as if he was surrendering. “Relax. You were having a nightmare, I think. Are...you okay?”

His eyes darted around the area, scanning his surroundings much like he'd done in his dream. Or maybe it was more of a memory – Dean just wasn't sure at this point. He vaguely remembered his first night here, but it all got jumbled together after a while. That happened when you spent every day running for your life, he supposed. “M'fine,” he assured his brother, rubbing his eyes with the backs of his knuckles.

He could see that the sun was not up yet, which meant Sam still had time to get some sleep. Dean knew he wasn't going to be able to get anymore shut eye, so one of them might as well. “You go ahead and get some sleep,” he offered. “I'm good.” He could see that Sam was about to protest, but he quickly shut him down. “Don't argue with me, Sam. I got some sleep. Now it's your turn. You won't be any good to me tomorrow if you're not rested up.”

Although everything inside him was telling him to argue with Dean, Sam knew his brother had a good point. And he was sure Dean didn't like the idea of Sam knowing about his nightmares now. Sam wanted to push – he wanted to know what Dean had been dreaming about. But he didn't. It was late, and they were both tired, which meant they were going to be irritable. So Sam just rolled onto his side instead, letting Dean take watch for the rest of the night while he got some much needed sleep.


	5. Chapter Five

Sam growled in frustration as he shoved the body of a wraith off of him. They couldn't go anywhere in this damn place without getting attacked! He was getting tired of it! He'd been here for almost a week, and all they did so far was spend every waking second looking for Castiel. And each day, Sam's thoughts became darker and darker. If Castiel was still alive – and that was a _big_ if – then he just didn't want to be found. At this point, Sam was sure of it. 

And honestly, he was starting to wonder about his brother, too. He wasn't blind to how well Dean fit in here. Dean was at his peak here, actually. Once he got past the fact that this was basically a Hell dimension, Sam realized that it could also be seen as a hunter's playground. There was an endless supply of monsters to kill, and Sam was sure Dean was taking advantage of that.

It was actually quite scary how well his brother fit in here. Hell, Dean himself said that it felt like this place was pure – if that didn't raise red flags, then Sam really didn't know what did. “Dean, we need to start looking for a way out of here soon,” Sam reminded, watching as his brother's whole body seemed to tense up. He knew Dean was on edge, and this probably wasn't the best time for this conversation, but they needed to have it. 

“Shh,” Dean warned, pressing his finger against his lips to emphasize that he wanted Sam to be quiet. He'd been here long enough to realize when he was being watched – there was just a feeling he couldn't shake. His hunter instincts were on high alert as his eyes scanned the tree line, watching for any signs of movement. 

Rustling in the trees has Dean setting off at a run towards the noise. “Dean!” Sam called after his brother, rolling his eyes when Dean didn't listen. The last thing they needed to be doing was chasing after things that wanted to kill them! Without hesitation, Sam started off into the woods after Dean, figuring that his brother might need some backup if he was going to act like a jackass like this.

Unfortunately, Sam lost Dean's trail when he stepped into a clearing. “Dean?” he called out, looking in all directions for his brother. Before he knew it, Sam was tackled to the ground, his weapon rolling away from him. Razor sharp teeth grazed over his skin before Sam could shove the vampire on top of him away. Luckily, before the thing could sink it's teeth into his flesh completely, Sam was able to throw an elbow, which caught the thing in the side of the head. 

Now that the vampire was off guard, Sam lifted his knee, bringing it up between the vampire's legs. It was a low blow, but at this point, Sam didn't care. The vampire rolled off him, hands clutching it's injured manhood as it groaned in pain. Sam quickly scrambled to his feet once he was free, not willing to be caught off guard again. He grabbed his weapon and prepared himself for an attack.

The vampire was on it's feet again, snarling and snapping it's jaws. But before it could attack, there was the sound of flesh against flesh, and another vampire rolled into the clearing, knocking its friend off his feet once more. Seconds later, Dean appeared, blood covering both him and his blade. He didn't even spare a glance toward Sam – his entire focus was on his prey.

Both vampires were on their feet now, and both were intent on Dean. It was like Sam didn't even exist at the moment. Without warning, Ruby's knife flew through the air, embedding itself right between the vampire on the left's eyes just as they started running towards Dean. 

Not even realizing that his companion had been killed, the last remaining vampire reached for Dean. The older Winchester countered the attack, landing a solid right hook to the vampire's cheek. He then grabbed him up by his vest and slammed him into a tree, the blade of his knife pressing against the vampire's neck. “Winchester,” the vampire hissed, obviously aware of who Dean was.

Dean's eyes narrowed. “You have me at a disadvantage,” he chuckled humorlessly. “I'm not sure we've met.” Not caring who the hell this creature was, Dean pressed the blade tighter against his throat. “Where's the angel?”

“I don't know,” the vampire answered, sneering at Dean. “And even if I did, I wouldn't tell you a damn thing.”

Another humorless chuckle escaped Dean. “You hear that, Sammy?” Dean asked, finally acknowledging his brother. “He doesn't know anything.” Without warning, Dean slammed his knife into the vampire's neck, pinning him to the tree. As the vampire choked and gagged in surprise, Dean moved to its buddy and pulled Ruby's knife from his head. He then thrust the blade forward, embedding it in the vampire's gut.

The look of pure rage and animosity on Dean's features scared the hell out of Sam. He was starting to wonder if that kitsune he'd met that first night he was here had been telling the truth. Had his brother changed so drastically in just a few short months of being here? That just made Sam want to get the hell out of here even more.

Because he hadn't been paying attention, Sam jumped when Dean grabbed his shoulder, turning the younger man so he was facing Dean. His hand gripped Sam's chin, forcing his brother's head to the side. “Are you alright?” he asked, examining Sam's neck. “How deep is it?”

Barely suppressing the need to roll his eyes, Sam batted Dean's hands away from his neck. “I'm fine, Dean,” he assured his brother. “It's not even that deep. He barely grazed me.” When Dean finally got a good grip on his chin and all but forced Sam to stay still, the younger man didn't bother trying to stop his eyes from rolling. “Dean, he barely touched me. I'm fine.”

As he looked over Sam, Dean felt anger bubbling up inside him. That damn vampire had the nerve to touch his little brother? Dean wished he could resurrect him so he could kill the bastard all over again. Only this time, he'd make it more painful. More bloody. “You need to be more careful, Sam,” Dean gruffed, releasing his brother as he took a step back. “Everything here is trying to kill us. Pay closer attention to your surroundings. Come on, Dad taught you better than that.”

Now, it was Sam's turn to get defensive. “Yeah, Dean, maybe you should take your own advice,” Sam shot back. “What the hell were you thinking running off after the vampire like that? Hell, you didn't even know what it was when you took off after it! That thing could have been something way worse than a vampire! What if it had been a Leviathan, Dean?!”

Confusion was clear on Dean's face as he stared at Sam. “Then I would have lopped off the sunovabitch's head, Sam,” he answered like it was the simplest thing in the world. “This ain't my first rodeo, Sammy. I know what I'm doin'.” Shaking his head, Dean felt his anger rising once more. He wanted something to fight. He _needed_ something to fight. And right now, Sam was the only thing around. “Besides, these things are the only leads on Cas that we got. Or did you forget that we're trying to find our friend?!”

Anger was rolling off Dean in waves. Sam picked up on it almost instantly. Dean sometimes got like this after a fight. It seemed to have gotten worse since Dean came here though. And honestly, Sam was tired of walking around on egg shells around the older Winchester. Sam was trying his best here, and it didn't seem like it was good enough for Dean. Sam was tired of taking the brunt of his brother's anger. “I'm trying to find Castiel, too Dean,” Sam assured him. “But maybe it's time that we face the facts, and at least consider the possibility that we're not going to find him. We need to get out of here alive, too, you know?”

When Sam said the magic words – the very thing Dean had been thinking, but Sam just now put out there – Dean flipped. Stopping in his tracks, Dean turned to face his brother, a look of horror and disbelief on his face. “What are you trying to say, Sam?” he asked, not bothering to hide the accusatory tone in his voice. 

The look Sam was getting from his brother was enough to let the younger man know that they were doing this now. He'd put his foot in his mouth _again_ , and now there was nothing he could do to backtrack. Dean was on a warpath, and Sam had just given him everything he needed to explode. So, he didn't hold back. “You can't tell me you haven't been thinking it, too, Dean,” Sam argued. 

“Thinking _what_ , Sam?” Dean demanded, taking a step closer to his brother. He knew what Sam was suggesting – hell, he'd been thinking it a lot lately himself – but he wanted the younger man to say it. At least if Sam was the one to say the words, Dean wouldn't feel so bad about his own dark thoughts. “What're you trying to say?”

As much as Sam knew the words needed to get out, he couldn't look his brother in the eyes when he said it. “Look, we've been trying to find Castiel since I got here, Dean,” Sam started, trying to word this as gingerly as he possibly could. “And you were looking for him for God knows how long before that. I'm just saying that maybe it's time we start considering the fact that we're not going to find him.”

Angrily, Dean shook his head. “What do you mean we're not going to find him?” he argued. “This place isn't that damn big, Sam! Eventually, we'll find him. And then we can all get out of here together. Like we planned.”

Something inside Sam snapped when Dean argued with him some more. It was like Dean was purposely trying to act like an idiot to piss Sam off. “Unless he's not here, Dean!” Sam explained. “Look, he's an angel – maybe he teleported himself out of here! Or...maybe something got to him, and he's not able to come back to us. Or-Or maybe—”

They were finally getting somewhere. Dean wasn't the only one having these terrible thoughts about their friend. “Maybe what, Sam?” Dean pressed, his body practically vibrating with the need for a fight. He knew he shouldn't push – he should have just walked away, but he couldn't. He wanted Sam to say it. 

Sam's eyes finally met Dean's as he finished, “Maybe Castiel just doesn't want to be found.” The blow to his jaw landed before Sam even saw it coming, forcing the younger man to stumble back. His hand moved to press against his lip, seeing blood when he pulled it away. And damn, if that image didn't remind him of the time Dean found out he was exorcising demons with his mind. No matter what he did, Sam always seemed to fuck up. “Satisfied?” Sam asked, mimicking the same demeanor from all of those years ago.

Honestly, Dean wasn't satisfied – not even in the slightest. But hitting Sam wasn't going to fix that, and he knew it. “We're not leaving Castiel here,” he ground out instead, hoping that his voice held enough finality that Sam would just drop this whole subject. His brother needed to fall in line.

Of course Dean wasn't going to back down – Sam should have known that. But just for once, Sam wanted his brother to side with him on something. He didn't want to be here anymore. And he was sure Dean was in the same boat as him. But he just wouldn't leave Castiel. Regardless of the numerous reasons Sam had just spouted off that they hadn't found him yet. “Are you kidding me, Dean?” Sam asked, quickly following after his brother when Dean started storming off in the direction of their camp. “We need to get out of here. We can't keep wasting our time looking for him when there's no guarantee that he's even still alive.”

Not stopping to listen to Sam's nonsense, Dean chuckled humorlessly. “Oh, he's still alive,” he assured Sam. “I would know if he'd died. There would have been some kind of celebration from these freaks. He's _not_ dead.”

Rolling his eyes, Sam sped up to match Dean's pace. “Alright, fine,” he agreed. “Maybe he isn't dead. But that doesn't change the fact that he doesn't want to be found, Dean. Seriously, man, you've been looking for him for _months_ , and you haven't found him. You said it yourself, Dean, this place isn't that big! He's giving you the slip on purpose! You gotta know that!”

“What I know is that instead of staying here and looking for our friend – our _brother_ – you'd rather tuck tail and try to find a way out of here. You'd rather abandon Castiel than stay here another minute and _waste our time_ , as you so delicately put it!”

Well, when Dean put it that way, Sam kind of felt like an ass. That's not what he was saying, per se. He just didn't think they should spend so much time and energy looking for someone who didn't want to be found. Because clearly, Castiel did not want to be found. “Dean, that's not what I meant,” Sam mumbled, shaking his head. Damn, he always fucked up everything.

Again, Dean chuckled humorlessly at Sam's words. “No, Sam?” he asked, head cocked to the side as his brows knit in disbelief. “Then what the hell did you mean? You wanna get out of here – I do too. But if there's even a chance that Castiel is still over here, we're not leaving without him.”

Although Sam didn't want to sound insensitive, he wanted Dean to at least consider his options. “And what if we don't make it out because we die looking for him?” Sam asked. “What about all of those people who need us on Earth? What about Kevin? And the tablet?”

Right now, Dean didn't give a rat's ass about the tablet. And Sam had assured him that Kevin was fine on his own out there for a while. “You know what, Sam, it doesn't surprise me that you want to abandon Castiel here,” Dean snapped, unable to keep the animosity out of his voice. “That's what you do, isn't it? Abandon your family and only focus on _your_ needs.”

Shocked, Sam stopped dead in his tracks. It was as if the words had him frozen to the spot, and he physically could not move. “That's not who I am anymore,” Sam argued. When he'd gone to Stanford, he'd been looking for a shot at a normal life. Something better than hunting. But now, he knew that he was a freak. And this is where he belonged – in the life with his brother. “I came here to get you, didn't I?”

Dean knew that his words had hurt Sam's feelings. Good – that's what he'd been going for. “Yeah, well, maybe you shouldn't have,” Dean answered, venom still dripping from his words. He started moving toward the camp again, only to have Sam's arm on his elbow stop him.

This time, it was Sam's turn to throw the punch. “Don't you say that to me!” Sam yelled, his knuckles tingling where they'd landed with Dean's cheek. “Don't you _dare_ say that to me! It wasn't even a question about whether I was gonna come for you! I spent months looking for Crowley – looking for _any_ lead that might tell me where you went!”

Without saying a word, Dean pressed his knuckles to his cheek where Sam hit him. He knew that it was stupid – it was a terrible idea to get into a fight with his only ally here. But Sam wasn't going to hit him and get away with it. 

Angrily, Dean threw another punch, catching Sam in the jaw once more. While his brother was off guard, he landed another blow to Sam's abdomen. He grabbed the back of the younger Winchester's flannel when Sam doubled over in pain, using his grip to whirl Sam around before he tossed him onto the ground. Sam was on his feet faster than Dean thought he was able, the younger man throwing a punch geared towards Dean's head.

Dean blocked Sam's attack with ease. He'd been here a long time. And every day was like he was fighting for his life – Sam didn't stand a chance with Dean in hand-to-hand combat like he used to. He blocked another shot to the abdomen, shoving Sam backward so he could put a little more distance between the two of them.

The next time Sam swung at him, Dean grabbed Sam's wrist and held on. His free hand fisted in Sam's shirts before Dean started moving forward, shoving his brother back with each step. He didn't stop until Sam's back slammed against a nearby tree, Dean pinning his brother there with some effort. Sam was flailing in an attempt to break free and continue their fight, but Dean wouldn't let him.

All he could focus on was the blood pounding in his ears right now. He didn't want to fight with Sam anymore. They were better than this. But he had a lot of excess energy to blow off. And if he wasn't going to fight, then he knew there was only one other way to solve this problem. His grip on Sam's shirt tightened as he hauled the younger man slightly away from the tree and toward him.

A shocked gasp escaped Sam when their lips crashed together so hard their teeth clanked against each other's.


	6. Chapter Six

A shocked moan escaped Sam’s lips when Dean kissed him. Honestly, Sam didn’t think the fight that had broken out between the two of would lead to a kiss. He thought for sure, Dean would have left him here to fend for himself and come find him when he had time to cool off. Instead, Sam was being kissed like he’d never been kissed before and he was enjoying every minute of it. Right now, nothing else mattered – not Castiel, not Purgatory, not the fact that there could be monsters in these woods. The only thing he was focused on was Dean and that they were kissing. 

When the kiss broke, both men were panting harshly, their breaths mingling since they were still standing so close. Sam didn’t know what to say because he was afraid that if he broke the silence and said the wrong thing, he would cause another fight to break out.. Luckily for him, he didn’t have to speak because Dean had already beat him to it.

“I was thinking it too, Sam,” Dean breathed, making sure to keep eye contact with his brother. “I didn’t want to say any of it, but I was thinking the same thing. But when you say it out loud, it makes it more real. So I don't want to talk about it. I just want to look for Cas until we can't look anymore. Later. Right now, I want this.” With that, Dean kissed Sam once more, the kiss more passionate than the last.

Sam didn’t protest as Dean shoved him roughly against the tree, the bark digging into his back even through his shirt. Dean was grinding against him like a fucking cat in heat and Sam wanted more, so he wasn’t going to risk complaining about the rough treatment. Instead, he gripped Dean’s short cropped hair in one hand and parted his lips for Dean’s seeking tongue, another moan escaping him only to be swallowed up in the kiss.

Pulling back, Dean yanked Sam’s shirts off his body before all but ripping Sam’s pants open. This was about passion and sharing the heat of the moment – there was no time for niceties here. He quickly pushed Sam’s pants and boxers down to mid-thigh before he gripped Sam’s hips and forced him to turn towards the tree, making Sam have to catch himself with his hands so he didn’t face plant into the unforgiving bark. Dean didn’t even bother fully undressing himself, merely unzipping his pants and pulling his cock out, figuring that was enough to get the job done.

The last thing someone thought about when living in a world full of monsters was lube. Now, Dean didn’t know much about sex with another man, but he knew that lube was definitely an essential thing. It wasn’t like Sam’s body was going to naturally lubricate itself like a woman’s did. Unfortunately, Dean was fresh out of lube, but he _really_ wanted to finish what they’d started. So, he used the next best thing – spit. 

He made sure to coat his dick with a lot of saliva, spitting into his hand and stroking himself multiple times before he finally lined himself up with Sam’s entrance. Dean kept his movements slow as he sank into Sam’s body, knowing that he hadn’t taken the time to properly stretch Sam, so there was a risk of tearing him if he just rammed into him like he wanted to. It felt like torture, slowly sliding in inch by inch, but he eventually had himself buried to the hilt, his movements stopping completely until he received confirmation from Sam that this wasn’t too much and he was ready for him to move.

Not using lubricant was definitely new to Sam. And the lack of preparation was even newer. Sure, he wasn't a virgin to sleeping with men, but it wasn't something that happened often. Only when he couldn't suppress the feelings he had for his brother anymore and he wanted to pretend that Dean actually cared about him and wanted him that way, too. So, he hadn’t been on the receiving end in quite a while, and now, after so long, it fucking hurt! Luckily, Dean was moving slowly, otherwise, Sam didn’t think he would have been able to take it.

Hissing in slight pain when Dean finally bottomed out against him, Sam clenched his jaw and just waited for his body to get used to the invasion. It took a little longer than he would have liked, but eventually, when he wiggled his hips back against Dean, it didn’t hurt as much anymore. “O-Okay Dean, m’good,” he mumbled, giving his head a small nod. “Move…you-you can move now.”

Dean didn’t need to be told twice. Still keeping his movements slow, Dean pulled out a little before sliding back in. He continued that rocking motion, sliding out a little further each time until he was pulling out almost all the way before slamming back into Sam. His fingers were leaving bruises on Sam’s hips from how tightly he was holding onto him, he was sure, but that wasn’t enough to make Dean stop. After all, Sam wasn’t complaining about it, and he seemed to be enjoying himself, so why spoil the moment?

It felt amazing. This was everything Sam remembered. Of course, he would have preferred it if they were facing each other, but he’d deal with this position too. At least he got to _feel_ Dean moving inside him – that was always his favorite part. Sure, sex with other people had been pretty decent, but nothing compared to this. Sam was sure that it had something to do with his feelings for Dean, but he wasn’t going to bring that up again. Dean liked to clam himself up a lot when it came to feelings, and he was already pretty closed off right now. 

Pressure and heat were coiling in Sam’s belly – he wasn’t going to last much longer with the way Dean’s cock was nailing his prostate with each push. He just needed one thing to give him that final shove over the edge. Reaching back with one hand, Sam gripped Dean’s hand and pulled it from his hip, bringing it in front of his body. “D-Dean…touch me. M’close…please?” he begged, maneuvering Dean’s hand so that it was almost touching his rock hard erection.

This was perfect. Sam was so damn tight and his inner muscles were squeezing Dean’s dick just right. There was no way he was going to last long. He was too caught up in his own feelings and sensations that he didn’t realize what Sam was asking until his fingertips brushed over Sam’s cock head, jolting him out of his own mind. Quickly, he wrapped his hand around Sam's cock, groaning softly as watched Sam's head fall forward in pleasure. “You like that, Sammy?” he asked, speeding up the rocking motions of his hips.

“Oh my God, Dean, yes,” Sam gasped in pleasure. He felt like his whole body was on fire. Rocking his hips back to meet Dean's every thrust, Sam arched back, allowing his head to rest on Dean's shoulder as he felt his orgasm springing up on him. A deep groan of pleasure escaped his lips as his orgasm hit him, his warm, sticky fluid coating Dean's hand and splashing against the tree trunk.

When Sam came, his inner muscles clenched around Dean just tight enough to drag his own orgasm from him. As he came, Dean bit into Sam’s shoulder to keep from crying out. After all, they were in the middle of the woods where monsters could just attack them at any moment – which now that Dean was thinking about it, had been a reckless decision on their part. Luckily, they had been able to keep the noise level down, otherwise they could have been in trouble. 

As his orgasm subsided, Dean leaned against Sam, catching his breath while his cock slowly softened. Only after his legs no longer felt like Jell-O did he pull back. He didn't talk – didn't dare say a word. Instead, he fastened his jeans and just watched as Sam silently dressed himself as well. Dean wasn't sure who was going to break the silence, but he knew it had to be done. He also knew that his brother would want to talk about this, and he didn't want that. He just wanted to go on looking for their friend, and pretend this hadn't happened. Dean didn't need this added on top of everything else going on right now.

Sam wanted to talk about what had just happened. Never in his twenty-nine years of living had Dean ever showed any interest in him sexually. And Sam hadn't dared allowed Dean to know about his sexual feelings towards his brother. But now, Dean had just shoved him against a tree and fucked the hell out of him, and Sam wanted to talk about it. But Sam wasn't stupid – he knew if he said anything, Dean would shut down. And that's the last thing he wanted right now.

Sighing, Sam shoved his left arm into the sleeve of his shirt, eyes watching Dean cautiously. His brother looked like he was about to bolt. Like he was a scared animal, and one wrong move would send him running for the hills. “So, what do we do now?” Sam asked, leaving the question open-ended so Dean didn't feel trapped.

He wasn't stupid. Dean knew that Sam was trying to talk about the sex they'd just had against the tree. The amazing, _awesome_ sex they'd just had, but he wasn't going to fall for it. Leaning down, Dean picked up his weapon, allowing the feel of the bone the base was carved out of keep him grounded. “Now, we're gonna go find Cas,” Dean answered, leaving no room for argument.

**~~**

After a few hours of trying to track down Castiel, Sam and Dean had been attacked by another group of vampires. Dean had taken care of two of them while Sam took care of a third. But one had gotten away. Now, Dean was chasing after it like his life depending on finding this monster, and it was taking all Sam had in him just to keep up. This place had surely done wonders for Dean's cardio – he was getting better at it than even Sam was. 

When Dean stopped in the middle of a clearing, Sam nearly ran into him, the younger man practically tripping over his own two feet when he came to an abrupt halt behind his brother. “Dean, what is it?” he asked, trying to catch his breath.

Quickly, Dean pressed his index finger to his lips, letting Sam know he needed silence. The vampire hadn't gotten far. Dean could feel it – he was still close by. Picking up on the trail once more, Dean took off at a dead run, leaving Sam in the dust behind him. 

The vampire's breaths were panting out of him as he took stock of his surroundings. It seemed like he'd lost Dean, but he wasn't going to let himself believe that just yet. Suddenly, he heard the faint sound of a heartbeat behind him, letting him know that he wasn't as safe as he'd originally thought. Letting out a battle cry, the vampire turned on Dean, grappling with the older Winchester.

It wasn't long before Dean had the vampire disarmed and pinned against a tree with a knife at the monster's throat. “Take a breath. Calm down,” Dean instructed, wanting to be able to hear the answers when he actually asked his questions without having to deal with gasping breaths. “Where's the angel?” Dean asked, much like he did every time he had some big nasty at the mercy of his blade.

“You're him,” the vampire snarled, not even bothering to acknowledge that Dean had asked him a question. “The human.” He'd heard stories, but he'd never met the human himself. And for good reason. Most things tried to stay away from him – unless they had a death sentence.

Anger bubbled up inside Dean when the vampire ignored his question. He really hated it when he had to repeat himself. Pressing his blade a little harder against the vampire's throat, Dean forcefully repeated, “Where's the angel?”

He got the same answer from this vampire as he got from all of the others. _I don't know_. It was like these things were purposely trying to piss Dean off. And if he wasn't mistaking, then he'd made a pretty scary name for himself here, so he just didn't understand. “Hmm,” he mused, not letting the vampire know just how pissed off that answer made him.

Without warning, Dean plunged the knife into the vampire's arm, keeping him pinned to the tree. He liked the way the vampire screamed in pain – it was almost like it fueled some part of Dean deep down. Picking up the vampire's weapon, Dean swung the blade towards the vampire, effectively beheading him. He was in no mood to play games.

Because he hadn't been paying attention, the second vampire caught him completely off guard. It soared through the air and tackled Dean to the ground, knocking the weapon from his hands. The vampire pinned him to the ground, snapping at his neck as Dean reached for his weapon. Unfortunately, his stolen blade had bounced too far out of reach when he'd been tackled to the ground.

Thinking for sure that he was going to be a goner, Dean's mind went to Sam. Where the hell was the kid. Had he gotten _that_ far behind when Dean ran off to get this vampire? Or maybe he'd been attacked too. Maybe Sam was bleeding out somewhere and calling for Dean to come help. Fueled by his fear that his little brother was hurt, Dean tried again, though unsuccessfully to get his blade.

Suddenly, someone flung themselves at the vampire on top of him, rolling away from Dean as they wrestled on the ground. Dean wasted no time getting to his feet. He couldn't see who had saved him, but he could see what they were wearing, and that was definitely not Sam. Keeping his movements slow, Dean crouched down for the weapon, trying not to attract the attention of the newcomer.

For all he knew, he'd been saved by another monster. It wasn't uncommon for them to attack each other here. After all, they didn't have anything else to do with their eternity. And Dean was sure if it was a thing, then it probably was just staking its claim. It wanted to kill “the human” as they all called him, and this fang was just in its way.

If that was the case, Dean was going to be ready for him. He wasn't about to let himself be caught off guard. That's generally when something came out of nowhere and ripped your throat out. So, he stayed glued to his spot, weapon firmly in his hand at his side as he waited for the fight between the vampire and the new arrival to be over.

Within a few minutes, the vampire's head was taken clean off with a weapon of his own. Once the vampire was dead, the new arrival turned to face Dean, his own second set of teeth descended. He made no move to attack Dean, but the older Winchester still stayed on high alert.

Just then, Sam finally made his way into the clearing. Dean quickly grabbed Sam's arm, keeping him from running any further towards this vampire that had saved his life. He still didn't trust the thing – he didn't care that it had saved him from being vampire chow. He'd never had a good experience when it came to monsters, and he didn't know why his luck would change now.

Fangs retracting, Benny eyed the vampire he'd just beheaded almost sadly. “What?” he asked, eyes still focused on the corpse. “No thanks for saving your hide?” He finally pulled his gaze away from the dead body of the fallen monster to eye Sam and Dean.

“Sure,” Dean answered, still keeping his free hand on Sam. He lifted his weapon to show to the monster that saved him, voice dripping with venom as he spoke. “I won't shove this up your ass.” At least for now, he wouldn't make any sudden movements. He wanted to size this situation up first.

As he continued to look the Winchester's up and down, Benny started to move away from the body on the ground. When he started moving, Sam and Dean did the same – not willing to let a vampire come too close, Benny was sure. Not that he could blame them. He didn't trust them, either. He had rules, after all. And he sure as hell wasn't dumb enough to get too close to a hunter without talking things through first.

For a solid thirty seconds, they just stared at each other before Benny broke the silence. “Hm,” he mused, figuring out real quick that this human wasn't one to take kindly to monsters. The taller one was looking at him as if he was about to strike at any minute, but he at least had a softer expression on his face. “Awfully strange way to punch your meal ticket, friend. I got something you need.”

What Dean needed was to find Castiel so they could get the hell out of here. But he was willing to at least listen to this vampire since he had just saved his life. “Yeah?” he asked, not even bothering to hide the disbelief in his voice, “what's that?”

Of course, Benny didn't expect these humans to welcome him with open arms. But a little more appreciation would have been nice. Especially since he'd just saved the shorter one's bacon. Had he not gotten here when he did, the guy would have been vampire juice. Still, he needed them if he wanted his plan to work. Standing to his full height, Benny smiled as he answered, “A way out.”


	7. Chapter Seven

_A way out_ – exactly what Sam had been looking for since he found Dean that first night he'd gotten there. But he knew that Dean probably wasn't gonna go for it. His brother was focused of rescuing Castiel for one. And two, this was a vampire that was trying to make a deal with him. Sam was sure this guy's head would be rolling any second now. Dean wasn't one to make deals with monsters – that was usually Sam's weakness.

Dean couldn't help but laugh when this fang told him that he had a way out. Figured it would try to get them off guard by telling them something they obviously wanted to hear. “Even a dental apocalypse like you knows there's no such thing,” Dean assured the vampire, calling him out on his bluff.

It figured that the hunters wouldn't believe him. Well, the taller one seemed like he may have been a little hopeful, and more inclined to believe him. But the shorter one – the one that had been here for much longer – he was more skeptical. “There is if you're human,” he shot back, not losing eye contact with the shorter hunter. “God has made it so. At least that's the rumor.”

Beside him, Dean heard his brother scuffle closer to him. He knew what was coming. Sam was going to try to talk him into going with this fang and getting out of here. And it was a nice thought – really, it was. But Dean didn't necessarily believe him. “Bull,” Dean accused, ignoring the way Sam's body tensed up beside him. The kid would get over it.

Shrugging, Benny answered, “Suit yourself.” He needed something to sweeten the pot here. He knew these types of people. They hated it when they were insulted. And if anything, Benny was good at insulting humans. “Maybe you've gone native. Maybe you like being man meat for every Tom, Dick, and Harry.”

“Prove it,” Dean shot back. If there really was a way out of here, he wanted proof. Dean wasn't just going to run off with this vampire and risk Sam's life on a whim. Sure, Sam probably would have been jumping on the opportunity had Dean not been here, but Dean _was_ here. And at least one of them had to have a level head about this.

There was no proof. Benny had never actually seen the portal – he'd just heard rumors that it existed. And then he did a little digging and found something that might help him out, so he was going to go for it. “Nah,” he answered, shaking his head. “You're either in or you're out.”

Figured – Dean didn't believe it for a second. Again, he heard Sam moving next to him moments before the younger man hissed his name in his ear. He could hear the desperation in Sam's voice – he wanted out of here. “So, you just want to guide us out of Purgatory out of the goodness of your undead heart?” Dean asked, not buying that for a second.

Honestly, Benny wanted Dean out of here just for the mere fact that he was running around killing monsters. That was Benny's past time, and Dean was stealing it away from him. But there was also something else he wanted. “More or less,” he shrugged.

Of course there was a catch. There was always a catch. It was just going to depend of if the catch was too big of a pill to swallow. “What's in it for you?” Dean asked, fingers tightening around his weapon. He should have already had this thing's head rolling across the ground. But he'd do this – for Sam, he'd do this.

Now that Dean's interest was peaked, Benny couldn't help but feel a little sliver of hope blossoming inside him. He'd been waiting for so long for this moment. “I'm hopping a ride,” Benny explained, barely able to contain his excitement.

Confusion was clear on Dean's face as he cocked his head to the side. _Hopping a ride_? What the hell did that even mean?! “What?” he demanded, needing to know what they were getting themselves into before he actually made a deal with this thing.

“It's a human portal, jackass,” Benny snapped, getting irritated. From the way this human strategized when he tracked down his prey and took them out, Benny would have thought that he was smarter. Clearly, there wasn't much other than death going on inside that head of his. “Only humans can pass through. I show you the door, you hump my soul to the other side.”

And there it was – the catch. Dean wasn't about to let something out of Purgatory! Even if it was just a vampire. That was one less vamp they had to deal with on Earth. “So you're looking for a soul train?” Dean asked, clearly not amused.

Again, Benny shrugged. “Sure,” he mumbled. “If that's what you're into.” He didn't give a rat's ass what Dean called it. He just wanted him to agree to it so they could get on with the search and get the hell out of here.

For a brief second, Dean allowed his gaze to tick down to the corpse of the vampire Benny had killed to save him. “And how do I know this isn't a set-up?” Dean asked. Motioning towards the body, he continued, “How do I know we ain't gonna end up like you're friend over there?”

Almost sadly, Benny confirmed, “He _was_ my friend.” He was more chipper as he looked up at Dean once more. “Now _you two_ are. First rule of Purgatory, kids. Don't trust anyone.” Well, as long as you wanted to survive, you shouldn't trust anyone. Benny was taking a huge risk right now by trusting these hunters.

How ironic that Benny was asking Dean to break that one rule right now. He didn't trust him as far as he could throw him. “You just asked me to trust you,” Dean reminded Benny, as if the vampire didn't already know that.

A wide smile broke out on Benny's lips when Dean spoke. Honestly, for a hunter, this kid didn't seem all that bad. “You see?” he smiled. “Now you're getting it.” He could see that Dean wasn't amused. Maybe he hadn't won him over as much as he'd thought he'd done. But he just needed one of them on his side, he supposed. And that taller kid looked like he was about to jump at the opportunity.

He was going to say no. Dean was going to tell the vampire who was offering to help them to pound salt. Sam couldn't let that happen. He had no other options – no other way out. And if this vampire was telling the truth, he could help them out of here. “Okay, we'll do it!” Sam blurted out, shoving Dean's hand off him when he took a step closer to the vampire. “You show us the door, and we'll get you out of here.”

Leave it to Sam to make a deal with a monster. Dean couldn't help but roll his eyes when Sam just shoved his hand away when he stepped past him. It was no wonder Dean always had to watch Sam's back – the kid made _terrible_ decisions. There was no way Dean was letting this damn vampire cross over to the other side with them! “First we find the angel,” Dean piped up, figuring he could at least use this vampire to his advantage while they had him on their side.

Frowning deeply, Benny snubbed the idea of finding someone else before they left here. He'd been here for _years_. He was ready to leave. “Mmm, four's a crowd, chief,” Benny complained, making sure to keep his eyes locked on Dean. It was bad enough they had three of them trying to get out already. Benny wasn't sure if the portal would stay open for four of them. And he wasn't going to be stuck here.

Dean smirked at Benny. He wasn't leaving this place without Castiel. He hadn't budged for Sam, and he sure as hell wasn't going to budge for a monster. “Well, hey. Either you're in or you're out,” Dean used Benny's own words against him.

**~~**

Over the next few hours, Dean was quiet. Sam didn't like it. He knew that his brother was pissed off about him agreeing to helping Benny, but he wasn't about to let this opportunity pass them by. Dean may have been not willing to deal, but Sam wanted the hell out of here. And honestly, Sam thought maybe Benny had hit the nail right on the head when he said maybe Dean had gone native here. The older man really fit in here well – _too_ well.

“You're pissed at me,” Sam accused, head hanging as he continued to walk beside Dean. He knew that Dean didn't like talking about his feelings, but Sam needed to talk about this. He couldn't walk around looking for Castiel and act like nothing was wrong when he knew that his brother was mad at him. And sure, trying to talk about his feelings would only make Dean angrier, Sam knew, but he was going to explode if they didn't talk about _something_. And he had a feeling Dean didn't want to talk about what had happened against that tree yet. 

Unable to resist the urge to roll his eyes, Dean bit his tongue. He was in no mood to talk about this right now. Especially when the vampire was following them, whistling like a damn idiot. “I'm not doing this right now, Sam,” Dean warned, his body practically vibrating with anger.

Of course Dean wasn't doing this right now. If it was up to Dean, they would _never_ do this. But Sam wasn't like Dean – he couldn't repress things as well as his brother. Some things, sure, he could push them down and pretend like they didn't exist like Dean. But most things, Sam needed to talk about. He needed to get things off his chest. “Dean, c'mon, you know this was our best option. And now you're walking around being all quiet like you're mad at me.”

Again, Dean rolled his eyes. _He wasn't doing this right now._ “I'm quiet because we're tracking down an angel is monster country,” he explained. “And if you're right about Castiel not wanting to be found, maybe we shouldn't make it obvious we're looking for him by screaming at the tops of our lungs? Sound like a plan to you, Sammy? Now, be quiet.”

That was the lamest excuse Sam had ever heard his brother come up with. Well, maybe not the lamest, but it was definitely on the list of his top five. If Castiel was watching them, he'd know they were coming. And Sam knew if he was trying to stay away from someone, he'd know where they were at all times. But Sam wasn't going to push it. His brother was clearly already in a mood. Not that Sam could blame him.

About thirty more minutes of walking, and Benny lead the brother's to a huamoid-looking monster. Apparently, this thing had seen the angel they were looking for. Dean allowed Benny to go in first, keeping back as the vampire subdued the monster. It clearly wasn't a fighter. Before long, Benny had it pinned to a tree. 

Quickly, Sam and Dean managed to get some chains around the monster, binding it in place. They then allowed Benny to interrogate him since Benny knew more about this specific brand of monster. But Benny wasn't getting anywhere, and Dean was getting impatient. He started pacing in a slow circle, his axe-like weapon held firmly in his grasp. It was the only thing grounding him right now. 

“I don't think he knows, man,” Benny offered, slowly pulling to his feet as he turned his attention to the brothers. He hadn't roughed up the monster too badly, but he could tell that it was exhausted. He felt kind of bad for it. The thing was a non-violent for the most part. But he knew Dean wouldn't care about that.

Unwilling to believe that this was yet another dead end, Dean pushed past Benny. Slowly, he leaned down, pressing his hand on the monster's shoulder. “Oh, he knows,” Dean assured the vampire. “Where's the angel?”

Sam knew that look. He could see it in his brother's eyes. Dean was ready to torture this thing. A part of Sam felt bad. This monster looked like he was scared out of his mind. And Benny had already done a number on him. But Sam wasn't about to stop Dean – he knew what finding Castiel meant to his brother. Just like he knew Dean hadn't been lying when he said that he wasn't going to leave here without him. 

He couldn't tear his gaze away as Dena pulled out Ruby's knife. The look on his brother's face as he ran it over the monster's abdomen and up his chest – it was enough to make Sam feel sick. He'd never taken the time to actually watch Dean when he was in this mood. Clearly, Dean _enjoyed_ it. And Sam wasn't sure how he was supposed to feel about that.

Dean smirked when the monster's breaths picked up. He knew that he was being menacing, but he didn't care. If this monster had information that could lead him to Castiel, Dean wanted to know what it was. And he wasn't going to stop until he pulled every little shred out of this thing. “You feel that?” he asked, letting the monster know he was in no mood to play games.

When the monster spoke, it's voice was low. It's words were slow, the thing obviously feeling the abuse it's body had taken from the vampire. “There's a stream,” he started, just wanting to get this over with. He didn't hesitate when Dean told him to go on. “It runs through a clearing not far from here. I'll show you.”

Oh, Dean wasn't about to fall for that one. Showing him would mean he'd have to let the monster free, and Dean wasn't about to risk losing the first thing that would talk to him about Castiel since he'd gotten here. Pressing the knife against the monster's throat, Dean suggested, “How about you just tell me?”

Again, Sam wanted to yell at his brother. He wanted to stop this. From what he'd learned about this particular monster, they were non-violent for the most part. There was no reason to terrorize it. But Sam was already in the dog house about Benny, and he wasn't sure he wanted to risk Dean being pissed off at him for something else. 

“Three days' journey,” the monster explained, figuring that he had no other choice. “Follow the stream. There's a clearing. You'll find your angel there.” His head hung, chin resting against his chest as he took what he knew were going to be his last breaths. The human never left survivors when he caught monsters.

Now that Dean had all of the information he could possibly pull from this monster, he was finished with him. He couldn't help the smirk that came to his lips as he turned his attention to Sam and Benny. He didn't miss the raised brow from the vampire. “You know what, Mutt?” Dean asked, turning his attention back to the monster. “I believe you.”

Without warning, Dean pushed his knife through the monster's chin, not stopping until he penetrated the skull. His knife was visible through the monster's open mouth as it choked and gurgled on it's own blood. Dean yanked his knife from the monster's body then, not waiting to see it's head fall forward before he was off the ground and gathering his weapon. “Let's move. Three days is quite a hike.”

**~~**

Once they had their information, it was just a matter of walking from there. No monsters really bothered them while they were taking their three day hike, which Sam was pretty grateful for. His body ached as they trudged through the forest, and he wasn't entirely sure he'd be much help in a fight. 

Sure enough, when they found that clearing though, Castiel was there. He was kneeling in front of the stream, washing his hands and face. And Sam thought it was the best thing he'd seen aside from Dean since he got here. Castiel was alive – he was fine. Hell, he looked better than Dean! No blood on him at all. And now, they were going to go home.

A wide smile broke out on Dean's face when he saw Castiel. He knew his friend hadn't been dead! He _knew_ it! “Cas!” he called out, breaking through the trees and heading toward the angel. He didn't pay attention to see if Sam and Benny were following him. All he cared about right now was that he'd finally found Castiel. And he was alive and well. 

“Dean?” Castiel frowned, slowly pushing to his full height. When he turned toward the sound to make sure it was actually Dean, he felt his heart drop. Here, he'd had many hallucinations that Dean had actually found him, but he knew this was different. Dean was really here. And Castiel thought that if he could feel human emotions, he would have been sick right about now.

He couldn't describe the feeling of happiness he had when he walked closer to his friend. He felt like he'd been searching for so long, and now he finally found him. Now that the gang was all here, they were saved. They were finally going to get to go home.


	8. Chapter Eight

The happiness he was feeling when he saw Castiel was hard to explain. Chuckling, Dean finally allowed all of the tension to leave his body as he wrapped his arms around his friend, holding on tight enough to squeeze the air from Castiel's lungs had he been human. Dean was almost afraid to let go. But he did, clapping Castiel on the shoulder before Sam moved to hug him as well. 

They were back together again finally. Dean felt like his whole family had been reunited, and it felt so damn good. Smiling when Sam pulled back from the hug, Dean turned his full attention to Castiel. “Damn, it's good to see you,” Dean smiled, looking Castiel over. He brushed his fingers over the facial hair that Castiel's vessel had grown from lack of care. “Nice peach fuzz,” he teased.

“Thank you,” Castiel answered, his eyes darting around the clearing. He knew it was only a matter of time before the Leviathan found him. They'd been tracking him since he got here. And he wasn't about to put Sam and Dean in danger. “Sam, how did you get here?” he asked, brows knit in confusion.

Clearing his throat, Sam shuffled his feet. He didn't want to tell Castiel that he'd just willingly walked in here to save Dean, but he knew he had to. No matter how stupid Castiel thought his plan had been. There was nothing that would have kept him from coming here to get his brother. “I, uh, used a back door through Hell,” he admitted. “I thought maybe Dean might be here, so I took a chance.”

When Sam told his story, Castiel cocked his head to the side, eyes narrowing with confusion. It was the look Castiel always gave them when he didn't understand something. Dean liked to refer to it as his _confused puppy_ look, whatever that meant. “That was...incredibly stupid of you, Sam. What were you thinking?”

Before Sam could answer, Dean stepped in. Sure, he agreed with Castiel that it was damn stupid of Sam to come here, but he had to admit that he was happy about it, too. Happier than he should have been. “Look, we can yell at him about this later,” Dean promised. “You should meet somebody.” Turning his attention to Benny, Dean introduced, “This is Benny. Benny, this is Cas.”

Merely giving Castiel a small nod and a wave, Benny greeted, “Hola.” He didn't trust this place. They were too out in the open. They needed to find some cover. Benny figured they could do the whole introducing niceties once they weren't sitting ducks.

Only briefly glancing at Benny, Castiel allowed his eyes to dart around the clearing once more. “How did you find me?” he asked, having been trying to hide from Dean for months. The human wasn't safe around him. And Castiel would do anything to make sure Dean was alright here. After all, it was his fault they were in this situation.

It didn't take a genius to see that Castiel was worried about something. The way his eyes were shifting around the area – like he was waiting for an attack. “The bloody way,” Dean answered, eyes ticking to Sam for a moment before he looked back at Castiel. “You feeling okay?”

At Dean's question, Castiel allowed his eyes to finally rest on Dean for more than a few seconds. “You mean am I still...” Castiel started, his finger making slow circles around his temple the way he'd seen Dean do when he was describing crazy people.

Unable to hold back the chuckle that broke from him, Dean answered, “Yeah, if you want to be on the nose about it, sure.” He was a little impressed that Castiel even knew what that meant. Clearly the angel was finally picking up on things when he spent time with them. That could be useful.

“No,” Castiel answered then, his eyes beginning to dart around the clearing once more. “I'm perfectly sane. But, then, 94% of psychotics think they're perfectly sane, so I guess we'd have to ask ourselves, _what is sane_?”

Really, Dean didn't have to ask. Castiel was acting a lot like himself, so he figured that he was fine. “That's a good question,” Dean agreed. Hell, maybe they were all insane. It would make more sense than them being trapped in a monster hell dimension. Maybe they were just all nuts and they were dreaming this up.

While the reunion was really nice, Benny had a question that he was just dying to ask. He'd been listening to the Winchesters talk the whole time they'd been searching for the angel, and from what he gathered, he just couldn't figure out why Dean was wasting his time looking for this dick. “Why'd you bail on Dean?” Benny asked, unable to keep quiet. 

He ignored Dean when he tried to stop him. “The way I hear it, you two hit monster land, and hot wings took off,” Benny explained, letting Sam and Dean know that he'd been listening to their little conversations. And he didn't approve of this behavior. “I figure he owes you some backstory.”

Quick to defend his friend, Dean explained, “Look, we were surrounded, okay?” Dean's recollection of that night wasn't all that great, but he knew he'd spent the night fighting for his life after Castiel had gone missing. “Some freak jumped Cas. Obviously, he kicked its ass, right?”

Although Dean made a good excuse for him, Castiel couldn't lie to Dean. “No,” he answered, feeling it like a punch to the gut when both Winchester's looked at him like he'd just betrayed them. Dean and Sam both asked what he meant in unison, and Castiel wasn't willing to lie. “I ran away.”

Hurt and confusion were clear on Dean's features at Castiel's answer. “You ran away?” he asked, not sure if he'd heard that correctly. An angel, his friend – his _brother_ – had run out on him when things got rough. That didn't sound like Castiel at all. He'd always fought by Dean's side. Hell, that's why they were in this mess in the first place. 

Hearing it coming from Dean just made Castiel hate himself even more. He was a coward. That's probably what Dean was thinking right about now. But Castiel hadn't had a choice. And he needed Dean to see that. “I had to,” he tried to explain.

“That's your excuse for leaving me with those gorilla-wolves?” Dean asked, remembering how he'd run for his life because one of them had nearly ripped him to shreds. He ignored Castiel when he said his name, not willing to let the angel try to explain himself until Dean got everything he wanted off his chest. “You bailed out, and what, went camping? I prayed to you, Cas, _every_ night.”

Castiel hung his head in shame, knowing exactly what Dean had said. He could still hear the older Winchester's voice. He could still hear how desperate Dean had sounded as he was begging him to come back to him. As he begged Castiel just to give him a sign that he was still alive. “I know,” Castiel answered, sad eyes ticking up to meet with Dean's once more. 

If Castiel thought that was going to make Dean feel better, he was sadly mistaken. “You know and you didn't...” Dean started, almost unable to believe it. He'd spent _months_ of his time looking for Castiel. He'd argued with Sam _numerous_ times about getting out of here without Castiel, and now he learned that the angel had just ditched him when they got here. “What the hell's wrong with you?”

The hurt and betrayal that Castiel saw on Dean's face was almost enough to have him falling to his knees and begging for forgiveness. But he didn't. Instead, he needed to tell Dean the truth. Dean needed to understand _why_ Castiel had done what he did. “I am an angel in a land of abominations,” Castiel started, trying to get Dean to understand. “There have been things hunting me since the moment we arrived.”

But Castiel's answer only seemed to anger Dean more. “Join the club!” he shouted, his body vibrating with anger. He felt like a fool. He should have just left when Sam tried to get him to find a way out. Now, they'd wasted so much time looking for Castiel when the angel should have just been left to fend for himself.

Now, Castiel was getting angry. None of his words were coming out right. It seemed like everything he was saying was only making Dean angrier. “These are not just monsters, Dean,” he explained. “They're Leviathan. I have a price on my head, and I've been trying to stay one step ahead of them, to-to keep them away from you. That's why I ran. Just leave me, please?”

From behind Sam and Dean next to the treeline, Benny smirked. “Sounds like a plan to me,” he answered, already turning to head out of the clearing. “Let's roll.” He had no ties to this angel. All he wanted was a ride back to the other side. And he didn't even know if Castiel could come with them.

“Hold on, hold on,” Sam ordered, stopping Benny in his tracks. He could understand where Castiel was coming from. And honestly, he was thankful that the angel was trying to protect his brother. Dean needed more people looking out for him. “Cas, we're getting out of here. We're going home.”

Although Sam had been looking for excitement, hell, maybe even a little gratitude, he received neither. Instead, Castiel just looked at the brother's in sadness. “Sam, Dean, I can't,” he argued, shaking his head. 

Still pissed off, Dean piped up. “You can,” he assured the angel. He may have been mad, but he still wasn't mad enough to leave him behind. “Benny, tell him.”

Sighing, Benny turned toward Castiel once more. “Purgatory has an escape hatch,” he explained simply. But he wasn't going to give the angel false information and get his hopes up for no reason. “But I got no idea if it's angel-friendly.”

That hatch was going to be angel friendly. Or Dean was going to _make_ it angel friendly. Either way, Castiel was coming with them. “We'll figure it out,” Dean promised. He could tell that Castiel was going to argue, so he dug deep. “Cas, buddy, I need you.” Castiel said his name then like he was going to argue, so Dean cut him off. “And if Leviathan wanna take a shot at us, let 'em. We ganked those bitches once before. We can do it again.”

It hurt Sam to have to see his brother begging Castiel to come with them. After everything Dean went through trying to find Castiel, Sam would have hoped that he'd just be happy and do this for Dean. But he was making it difficult. Sam hear Castiel mutter that it was too dangerous, and he was about to go off, but Dean spoke before he could. 

Angrily, Dean finally said, “Let me bottom-line it for you. I'm not leaving here without you.” Not after everything he'd done to find him. Not after months of searching, and fighting, and just wishing that Castiel had been by his side the whole time. Even if Castiel had bailed on him, Dean didn't bail on his family. “Understand?”

Realization was clear on Castiel's face when Dean _bottom-lined_ it for him, as the older Winchester described it. If Castiel didn't agree to go along with them, Dean would stay here in Purgatory with Castiel. And he wasn't willing to let Dean sacrifice himself. “I understand,” he nodded, finally agreeing to go with them to the portal.

**~~**

Benny stared at the body of the monster that Castiel had just smitten. “Well, I got to admit, boys – he's got his strong points, but hell if he ain't a magnet.” They'd only been with the angel for a couple of hours, and already they'd had to fight for their lives more times than Benny could count on one hand.

Rolling his eyes, Dean reminded, “Well, before we found Cas, you said it was our humanity that was drawing too much attention.” He rolled his eyes again when Benny said that was a problem, too. Honestly, Dean didn't understand why they were still following this vampire around. If it had been up to him, he would have had Castiel smite him, too. But Sam was all about keeping his damn deal.

While Dean and Benny were bickering, Castiel had done a quick sweep of the area, and he felt no monsters. “Well, I think we're clear for the moment,” he assured them. “It does present a curious curl in the metaphysics, doesn't it? If you murder a monster in monster heaven, where does it go?”

When Castiel spoke, Benny completely forgot about the conversation he'd been having with Dean to instead poke fun of Castiel. He just didn't understand the angel. And the way his head worked – Benny wasn't even sure he wanted to understand him. “And this is the crazy aunt I want to take on the road?” Benny griped.

“I am not your aunt,” Castiel assured the vampire, sounding somewhat offended. 

Genuinely shocked, Benny took a step back. “What?” he asked, not sure if he completely believed Castiel. “Really?” 

Unable to tell if Benny was being sarcastic or not, Castiel explained, “I have no possible relationship to your sibling offspring.”

Shaking his head, Benny argued, “Now, you're kidding me.”

Sam rolled his eyes as he listened to Benny goad Castiel. “Oh, you two are killing me,” he mumbled as he walked off in the direction of the portal Benny was apparently leading them to. He caught up to Dean rather quickly, wanting to stick close to his brother's side. The last thing he needed was to lose Dean when they were so close to the finish line.

Instead of continuing the conversation with Benny, Castiel decided to catch up to Sam and Dean as well. “I have to agree with the vampire, Sam and Dean,” Castiel explained. “The risk of crossing Purgatory with a seraph – it's...less than strategic, and certainly when we have no reason to believe that I can pass through the door you're headed for.”

Honestly, Dean was getting really pissed off that Castiel kept trying to get out of leaving this place with them. Why the hell Castiel wanted to stay, Dean had no idea. But he didn't say anything, instead just walking toward the door that everyone was so eager to believe wouldn't let Castiel pass.

Now caught up with the rest of the group, Benny piped up. “You see, you boys are intact, living human beings stuck in Purgatory's craw,” he explained. “This dimension wants to spit you out, which is exactly what's going to power our escape pod. Now, I'm pretty sure I can squeeze through, too, because, after all, you take away the fangs and the fun, I was born human, too. But—” 

“I don't think it would work for me,” Castiel finished for Benny. The vampire could at least understand what Castiel was trying to say. And that had Sam stopping in his tracks. Maybe at least one of the Winchesters was starting to see what he was saying.

Dean didn't stop walking though, so Benny directed his attention to him. “You hear what he's telling you, Dean?” Benny called after the older Winchester. They were wasting their time. And if they got to that portal and Dean refused to leave because Castiel couldn't, Benny was going to kill him – _literally_. “Your buddy is saying—” 

Again, Benny was cut off when Dean turned on him. “Listen to me, you undead blood junkie, we're the ones with the mojo,” he reminded, motioning between himself and Sam. He didn't care if Sam wasn't on the same page as him right now – he was speaking for the both of them because he was right about this. “I'm the one with the plan.” Turning his attention to Castiel, Dean continued, “Cas...we're going to shove your ass back through the eye of that needle if it kills all four of us.”

A deep frown came to Benny's lips when Dean offered them up to die. “Obviously, I'm less than comfortable with that,” he argued. He wanted to live – that's why he was helping them get out. So he could be on the other side again. Very much alive.

At this point, Dean was already on a roll, so he didn't think he should stop there. “What the hell do you know about the value of life?” he demanded, turning and starting off toward the portal once more. “You're a vampire.”

With Dean leading the way to the portal, Benny continued to argue with him. “Yep,” he agreed, not able to deny what he was. “And I think we both know which of our kind kills more humans.” Especially since hunters were killing off Benny's kind left and right. Before long, there weren't going to be any vampires left in the world.

Behind them, Castiel piped up, “Well, statistically speaking, that'd be your—”

He didn't get very far before Dean cut him off. “Yes, Cas, thank you,” Dean ground out. He knew that people killed each other. It was a fucked up world. But that didn't mean vampires weren't also responsible for the deaths of a lot of those humans, either. Only it was worse – vampires turned people.

Sighing, Benny tried to placate Dean. He didn't want to fight about this. “I get it,” he assured the younger man. “You're worried what I might do if we make it topside. I'll start eating your little piggies. I already told you, man – by the time I got iced, I was strictly on blood transfusions, donated blood. Not donated to me, I'll give you that, but I paid good black-market scratch for it.”

Again, Dean felt his anger rising. “So, what is that?” Dean asked, not really interested since he didn't particularly believe Benny. “Like the vampire Zone diet?” He could hear Sam saying his name behind him – warning him to stop.

“Look, all I'm saying is I started seeing something in humanity, okay?” Benny answered, not even sure why he was trying to justify himself to a hunter. “Something that shouldn't be taken. I drink blood. I don't drink people.”

Taking a step closer to Benny, Dean demanded, “And why the hell should I believe you?”

Now, Benny was getting angry. He could hear the younger Winchester warning them to stop, but Dean had pissed him off, and he wasn't about to let this go. “What does it matter what you believe?” Benny asked, well aware that Sam was closing in on the two of them. “You got your head so far up your ass, Dean, you don't even realize we're already done for. We are never gonna make it with him next to us glowing like a beacon.”

That did it. Dean stepped closer to Benny, getting in the vampire's face. “Do I need to remind you of our deal?” he asked, itching for a fight? “Of what you committed to?” He felt Sam's hand on his chest, holding him back before he heard his brother saying his name again. But blood was pounding in his ears and he wanted to rip this monster apart.

Still just as angry as before, Benny tried to get at Dean. But Sam's larger mass prevented the two of them from getting into a physical altercation. He wished that Dean wasn't here. Sam seemed like the level-headed one of the two. They would have been gone by now if it was just Sam. “He is gonna get us killed!” Benny shouted.

Before Dean had a chance to retaliate, Castiel interrupted, “We may get to test that theory.” His eyes were darting around the sky, like he was watching some invisible thing that no one else could see.

Completely forgetting about his argument with Benny, Dean stood down, watching as the vampire did the same. His brother was gone from his view, instead focusing on Castiel. “More monsters?” he heard Sam ask, getting his blade ready. 

At Sam's question, Castiel gave his head a small shake. It wasn't monsters he was worried about. No, this was something ten times more horrible. “Leviathan,” he explained, still searching the sky. He hadn't felt them coming until just now. And now it was too late.

Dean quickly moved to stand next to Sam, ready to defend his brother even if it killed him. “Why don't you blip out of here?” Dean suggested, not wanting Castiel to get hurt trying to take on Leviathan. They were tricky bastards. Especially here when they didn't have Borax to slow them down.

Again, Castiel shook his head. “They're too close,” he explained, eyes landing on Dean and Sam once more. “I can't.” Quickly, he shoved the Winchesters to get them moving. “Run!”


	9. Chapter Nine

The four of them ran through the forest, not sure what they were running from exactly, just knowing that Castiel said trouble was coming. Before they knew it, something hit the ground near Dean in a cloud of thick, black smoke, causing all four of them to stop. The smoke cleared ad a mass of black goo transformed into a Leviathan right before their eyes.

“Oh great,” Dean grumbled, getting ready for a fight as the Leviathan moved toward him. Meanwhile, Castiel headed off in the opposite direction, but another missile of black smoke hit the ground in front of him and became a second Leviathan. As Dean swung at the first Leviathan with his weapon, the second Leviathan threw Castiel to the ground. 

Oblivious to what was happening around him, Dean hacked again and again at the first Leviathan that attacked them while it was down. He knew that it was dead, but he couldn't stop chopping. It was this thing's fault that he was here. And he wanted to chop it up until it was nothing but minced meat. He felt a hand on his arm, stopping him from landing another blow as he turned his attention to the person holding him back.

When he saw the look on Sam's face, Dean nearly broke. His brother looked so scared – Dean wasn't sure if it was Sam being scared for him, or _of_ him. He knew this place had changed him. Dean could feel it inside him. Like a stain he couldn't wash off. But when Sam just lowered Dean's arm for him, Dean let him, holding back tears as he thought about how he was never going to be the same man he'd been before Dick Roman.

Meanwhile, the second Leviathan's mouth transformed, ready to take a bite out of Castiel. Before it had time to attack, though, Benny cut off it's head. Without hesitation, he reached down for Castiel, giving him a hand to pull him off the ground and get him back on his feet.

After checking to make sure everyone was alright, the group continued to make their way through the forest. Now, more than anything, Sam wanted to get the hell out of here. He'd seen the look on his brother's face as he minced up that Leviathan. This place was turning Dean into something that he wasn't, and Sam couldn't just stand by and let it happen. They needed to get out of here as soon as possible.

But it seemed like they had been walking forever, and there was still no sign of a doorway out of here. And Sam couldn't shake the fact that Benny was a vampire. Sure, he said that he was a _good_ vampire now, but Sam wasn't so sure he believed that. In all of his years hunting, he'd only ever met one good vampire, and the last time he saw her, she'd begged to be killed. And Castiel had obliged. 

So, Sam wasn't all that certain he believed Benny. For all he knew, this vampire was leading them to their deaths, and they were all just blindly following him because Sam had decided to make a deal with him without thinking it through. 

He didn't want to think that way, but with each passing hour, it became harder and harder not to. As he kept telling himself when he'd been looking for Dean, and then for Castiel, Purgatory couldn't be _that_ big. If they wanted to find something, they would have found it by now.

Just as Sam was trying to push those toxic thoughts from his mind, he heard Benny speaking behind him. “We're getting close,” Benny assured the group. His sources told him that it would be in a clearing at the farthest East point of Purgatory. And if he'd calculated right, they were almost there.

“Really?” Dean asked, his voice dripping with disbelief. “I don't see crap.” Surely, if there was an escape hatch, people would be able to see it. Especially humans, since it was geared toward them. “I mean, what the hell is this escape hatch supposed to look like?”

It was clear that Castiel still was not on Benny's side. Hell, he wasn't sure he was on anyone's side, but Benny was the only one he didn't trust out of this group. “He doesn't know,” he spewed, looking in every direction possible for this escape hatch everyone was so desperate to try to shove him through.

If Benny didn't know, Dean was going to lose it. “Hey, you just drug us into the fire,” Dean accused, turning his attention to Benny. “Please tell me you know.” Damn vampires. He knew it was stupid to trust them. But Sam for some reason just didn't understand that.

Benny was starting to get angry. No one believed him. And it made sense – it seemed like these people were all a tight knit little group before they got here. No wonder they were all so quick to try to tear down the new guy. “It's here,” he promised, getting defensive. “They promised.”

Well, if that wasn't the worst thing Benny could have said, Dean didn't know what was. Clearly, this vampire had never actually seen the portal for himself. And he was going off the word of some monster that must have spilled the beans. “Oh, _they_ ,” Dean replied sarcastically. “Well, that's comforting.”

Now, Sam was really starting to worry. When he'd made the deal, he'd thought for sure Benny knew what he was talking about. But now that he was spending more time with the vampire, he was unfortunately learning that maybe they'd been duped. Or maybe he should give Benny the benefit of the doubt and trust him. Sam just didn't know what to do right now. So, he just sat back and listened to what was going on around him.

Turning his attention to Dean, Castiel started, “Well, even if it does exist—” He ignored Benny when he called him a broken record – Castiel didn't really know what he meant by that. “Dean, it's a human portal. There's still no proof that an angel can pass—” 

Again, Castiel was cut off. “Stow it, Cas,” Dean warned, not wanting to go through this again. The look on Sam's face confirmed that he agreed with Dean on this matter. “You're coming. That's final.” Even if Dean had to shove Castiel's ass through that portal himself, he was coming with them.

Not willing to let this conversation drop without getting to speak his mind, Castiel continued, “I'm just saying...” He put his hand on Dean's shoulder first, then on Sam's, stopping the Winchester's from moving ahead any further. “...if it doesn't work...thank you, for everything.”

He really hated it when Castiel got all sappy. Especially around Sam because for some reason, that made Sam think he had to get all sappy, too. And Dean _hated_ it. Sam hugged the angel and whispered something about it being all okay. But Sam didn't know that for sure. “Save the Hallmark,” Dean griped, not willing to have another chick flick moment here. “Okay? It's gonna work. Nobody gets left behind.”

With that, Dean started moving again, only briefly looking back to make sure Sam and Castiel were following him. He couldn't help but worry about what was going to happen if Castiel couldn't cross through the portal. Surely, angels weren't meant to be in Purgatory either. If that was the case, then they would have come here when they died. So this place probably wanted Castiel out of here as much as it wanted Dean out. This had to work. It just _had_ to.

After what seemed like countless more hours of walking, Castiel finally broke the silence again. “Maybe you were lied to,” he suggested to the vampire, not wanting to hurt his feelings, but also not believing there was a portal since they couldn't find it. “Maybe there is no seam.”

Although it hadn't been Castiel's intention to piss Benny off, that's exactly what he was doing. “I lie,” Benny argued. “I don't get lied to.” He'd never met an angel before Castiel, but from what he'd heard about them, they were nothing like this thing parading around with them. “Aren't you guys all about faith?”

That was a common misconception that even Castiel possessed at one point in his time. He'd learned over the years though that faith was for the stupid – the weak. He wasn't one of those angels who blindly followed out of faith anymore. He hadn't been for quite some time. “Not particularly,” he argued.

Before anyone had the chance to speak, a leaf started floating through the air. They all watched as it borne upward by an unknown air current. At the top of a cliff far above them, a patch of blue light shimmered and changed shape.

Obviously proud of himself, Benny smiled up at the portal. “Oh, ye of frigging little faith,” he taunted Castiel as he watched the portal simmering and changing shape once more. It was the most beautiful thing he'd seen since he'd woken up here.

“What the hell?” Dean asked, unable to tear his eyes away from the portal. It looked like there was an actual rip in the Earth. One side led to paradise, and the other side led them here – to Hell. Not that Earth was paradise, but it was a lot better than this damn place.

Castiel was able to admit when he was wrong. Like now. “There it is,” he confirmed for the Winchesters. He then turned his attention to Sam and Dean. “It's reacting to the both of you.” He didn't miss the way Benny nodded to the Winchesters beside him.

Turning his attention to Sam, Benny couldn't help but smile. “All right,” he smiled, ready to get this show on the road. He felt his entire body vibrating with happiness. He'd been waiting for so long to get out of here, and now the time had finally come. “Ready?”

A deal was a deal. And while Sam still wasn't sure how he felt about unleashing Benny into the world, he wasn't about to break a deal. “Just like we talked about,” Sam explained. Without hesitation, he cut a horizontal line across his forearm. 

As Sam cut his flesh, Benny watched. He almost couldn't believe that this moment had actually come. “Putting a lot of trust in you, brother,” Benny said, revealing just how vulnerable he was at this exact moment. Literally, he was putting his life in Sam's hands right now.

When Benny said he was putting trust in him, Sam felt something inside him swelling. Benny had gotten them here – if it wasn't for him, they never would have gotten here. Without Benny, he and Dean probably would have still been fighting for their lives and looking for a solution. “Yeah,” he smiled, nodding. “Well, you earned it.”

The next step of the ritual was for Sam to cut Benny's arm. But before he could do it, Dean yanked the knife out of his hand. Dean ignored Sam when he hissed his name. “Can it,” he warned, slicing into his own flesh. “You're riding back with me.”

Not bothering to be nice about it, Dean cut Benny's forearm. They then gripped each other's left arms with their left hands. Dean honestly couldn't believe that he was doing this. And when Benny told him that he'd see him on the other side, Dean felt sick to his stomach. But he knew that if he didn't bring Benny back, then Sam would. And Dean would be damned if he let Sam have a monster inside him. Who the hell knew what these side effects could be.

Taking a deep breath, Dean chanted the ritual. “Conjunti sumus, unum sumus,” Dean chanted, hoping that he got the words right. Benny had been talking to Sam when he explained it, so Dean had just overheard him. 

Suddenly, Benny looked upward as his whole body stiffened. His left hand, which still had a death grip on Dean's arm, glowed with red and white light. Benny then appeared to be consumed by red and while light that flowed into Dean's arm. Dean grimaced at the pain. He then turned his attention to Castiel and Sam. “Let's go,” he ordered, not waiting for them to answer before he led them to the cliff.

Dean hurried along the top of the cliff, then upward through the forest. He could hear Castiel and Sam behind him, but he wasn't willing to wait. The portal looked like it was closing, and he wasn't going to let that happen.

From behind him, Dean heard Castiel call out to him to wait moments before something hit the ground in clouds of black smoke, stopping Dean in his tracks. As the smoke cleared, two balls of black goo became Leviathans, much like the last time. And dammit, they didn't have time for this.

The portal shimmered with moving blue light. Dean swung at the first Leviathan, who ducked and hurled him to the ground. Dean rolled down the hill, seeing the Leviathan tossing Sam aside as he came to a stop at the bottom of the hill. Castiel tried to put a hand on the Leviathan's head, but the second Leviathan kicked the back of Castiel's legs and punched him as he fell to his knees.

Now that he was down, the Leviathans continued to punch and kick Castiel. The angel fell heavily to the ground. Once he was on the ground, the second Leviathan dragged Castiel to his feet. But Castiel was able to counter, sending her reeling backwards with a hit to her jaw.

Meanwhile, Sam and Dean pushed to their feet, eager to help their friend. It was like the Leviathan weren't even paying attention to the Winchesters as they attacked Castiel. The first Leviathan grabbed Castiel in a death iron grasp as his mouth transformed. Dean quickly ran up to the Leviathan and decapitated him. Castiel then pushed the second Leviathan forward so that she was bent over, and Dean decapitated her as well. 

Quickly, Dean pulled Castiel, who was kneeling, to his feet. He then gave Sam a shove towards the portal. “We got to move!” Dean ordered, his voice getting drowned out by the pounding in his ears. “The portal's closing!”

They all climbed up the hillside toward the portal, making their way to the shimmering blue light as quickly as they could. Castiel stumbled, but Dean was there to make sure he didn't fall. “Cas!” he chastised, giving the angel a gentle shove closer to Sam. “Damn it! Come on!”

Sam was the first to reach the portal, with Dean quick on his heels. They waited for Castiel to catch up before Sam turned his attention to Dean. “Dean, c'mon,” he ordered, trying to force Dean past him so he could get through the portal. “I'll make sure Castiel gets through the portal. I promise, just go!”

Angrily, Dean forced Sam's giant hands off him. “No way in Hell!” he argued. “Get your ass through that portal, Sam.” He could tell that Sam was going to argue, so he did the only thing he could think of in that situation. Roughly, he shoved his brother, watching as Sam fell through the seam and into safety.

Again, the blue light shimmered and changed shape. “Come on!” Dean ordered to Castiel as he stepped into the portal, trying to stop it from closing before they could get through. Castiel grabbed Dean's hand. “I got you!” Dean promised. “Hold on!”

It was a weird angle. Castiel could feel himself slipping. “Dean!” he called, trying to get the older Winchester's attention. This portal wasn't going to let him out. And it would be stupid for Dean to miss his opportunity so he could save Castiel.

“Hold on!” Dean ordered, trying with everything he had in him to get Castiel through this portal. But it was like Castiel wasn't even trying. He could feel the angel's grip slipping, so Dean tightened his hold. He wasn't leaving here without Castiel. But he lost his grip, and Castiel slid down the hill a little ways.

The last thing Dean heard was his friend – his _brother_ – calling his name before the portal closed, taking Dean with it.

A bright white light exploded when Dean hit the ground, rolling away from the light and directly into Sam. “No,” he breathed, scrambling to his feet and looking for the portal. “No!” he shouted, running to the opposite side of the field he'd landed in. “Dammit!” he growled.

As soon as Sam realized that Castiel wasn't with Dean, he knew what his brother was doing. “Dean,” he started, reaching for the older man. “Dean, c'mon, stop!” At this point, Dean was hitting a nearby tree, screaming at it to open back up. But Sam knew that it wasn't the portal. He knew there was nothing opening back up so they could go find Castiel. All of their work, and the angel was still stuck over there. Or, he was just gone. “Dean, stop!” Sam cried out again, grabbing his brother's arm and holding Dean tightly.

When Sam tried to hold him, Dean shoved out of Sam's grasp. “I had him, Sam!” Dean screamed. “I had him! We were almost through! We almost fucking made it!” Sighing, Dean ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. “We have to go back,” he suggested. “We can get back there and get him out.”

Go back?! There was no way in Hell Sam was going back. “Dean, don't be crazy!” Sam argued. “We're both here. And we're alive! Okay? Look, Castiel said it himself – there was no guarantee that he would be able to come through that portal. Maybe...it threw him away from you when you guys came through because it wasn't angel-friendly.”

“I don't care!” Dean barked back. “He is our friend, Sam! Our _brother_! And we can't just leave him there!” Dean knew there was no way Castiel would survive if he was left in there. Hell, Castiel was running from Leviathan and without backup, he didn't stand a chance.

Just as he thought Sam was going to give him some story about how they could go back later, blinding pain shot through his arm. He'd almost forgotten about the vampire's soul hitching a ride with him. “Ungh...God dammit,” he growled, gripping his forearm in an attempt to fight off the pain. “We need to figure out where we are. I need to get this fucker out of me.”


	10. Chapter Ten

When Sam and Dean had been spit out of Purgatory, they'd ended up in 100 Mile Wilderness, Maine. Now, four days later, they were walking down a long stretch of road in Clayton, Louisiana. Dean gripped his arm painfully every now and then while they headed towards the land they were looking for, trying to keep Benny from causing any more blinding pain shooting through his arm. 

Finally, they made it to a clearing where a sign read _Lafitte_. Carrying their shovels, Sam and Dean paced slowly and deliberately away from a windmill, Dean still holding his left arm. When they finally made it to their destination, they merely stared down at the ground for a few seconds.

Dean tossed his gear onto the ground. “This better be you, you sonuvabitch,” Dean growled out as he started to dig, Sam following suit. After a few minutes, they had the grave dug, Dean hoisting himself up to sit on the ground above the grave. 

Again, Dean held hi left arm. “All right,” he groaned to the monster inside his arm. He then stood, looking down at the bones in the grave. “Hold on, you bastard,” he griped. Quickly, Dean rolled up his left sleeve. His forearm was still glowing red, pulsing as Benny tried to speed up the process. “Hold on!”

Without hesitation, Dean cut through his forearm, right over the pulsing red glow. “Anima corpori...” Dean started chanting, holding his arm out over the grave. The red lowing liquid dripped out of his arm in one long, steady line, falling over the bones in the grave. “...Fuerit corpus... totem resurgent.”

As he finished the ritual, Dean fell to the ground with a grunt. As the light vanished, Dean groaned in pain. His breaths were coming out of him in pants as Sam dropped to his knees in front of him, gripping Dean's shoulders to make sure he was okay. “Wow,” Dean breathed, not having expected it to hurt so badly. Slowly, Dean started rolling down his sleeve. “Wow, that was fast.”

“No thanks to you,” Benny griped, watching as Dean pushed to his feet. “The hell took you so long?” He wasn't sure how long he'd been inside Dean's arm, but he knew that it had been well over twenty four hours. But damn, did it feel good to be back.

Just barely resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Dean held his arm where he'd cut into his own skin. “You're welcome,” he answered instead, watching as Benny cracked his neck. 

Now that Benny was back, Sam figured that they were done dealing with him. Well, unless he screwed up and started feeding from humans. Then he and Dean would be coming for him. “Everything working?” Sam asked, making sure their end of the deal had been upheld.

Turning his attention to Sam, Benny shrugged. “Good enough,” he answered. His head tipped back as his vampire fangs descended, mouth opened wide. He then retracted them, closing his mouth. “So...what now?” he asked, eyes darting from Sam, to Dean, then back.

Honestly, Sam wasn't sure what happened now. That sort of depended on Benny as far as Sam was concerned. “Like we talked about, I guess,” Sam answered, figuring that they'd explained it all while they were looking for Castiel in Purgatory. There was no need to bring it up again.

Although Benny had kind of been hoping they could all be friends after this, he merely nodded. He knew Dean wasn't a huge fan of him still because of what he was. But still, Sam seemed like a cool kid. “Then this is goodbye,” he said, his tone almost sad.

“Keep you nose clean, Benny,” Dean warned. “You hear me?” He could tell that Sam had taken a liking to this vampire, and he didn't want to have to come find him again and chop off his head because he'd gone on a killing spree. 

With another nod, Benny walked toward Dean, holding out his hand to the older Winchester. They shook for a moment before Benny turned his attention to Sam. He shook Sam's hand as well, smiling widely at the younger Winchester. “We made it, brother,” he stated the obvious. “I can't believe it.”

Laughing, Benny pulled Sam into a hug, clapping him on the back. “You and me both,” Sam answered, tapping Benny's back as well. When the hug ended, he could see that Dean looked less than amused. As Benny walked away, Sam and Dean watched for a while before they turned and headed toward the road themselves.

**~~**

Back at Rufus' cabin, Sam and Dean finally had some time alone – they finally had some time to breathe. Dean was pacing around the room, acting like he was barely even there. And all Sam could think about was what had happened in Purgatory. How Dean had shoved him against that tree and just...taken what he wanted. 

It had been all Sam could think about since they parted ways with Benny. Maybe Dean was still able to suppress this, but Sam was having a really hard time. “Dean,” he finally breathed, eyes ticking up from where they'd been on the floor to look up at his brother. “We need to talk about happened. I can't—Please, I need to talk about it.”

This was the last thing Dean wanted to talk about. “Sam,” he mumbled, shaking his head. He wasn't in the mood. They'd just lost their friend. And now Sam wanted to talk about how they'd engaged in incestuous sex in the middle of Purgatory. “I don't wanna talk about it.”

Of course he didn't. Dean never wanted to talk about anything. “Why not?” Sam asked, pushing to stand to his full height. “Is it because you're ashamed that it happened?” Sam _really_ hoped that wasn't the case. “Because you're afraid if I make you mad, you'll want to do it again, and you regret it?”

There were a lot of things in this life that Dean regret – and as much as he should regret shoving Sam up against a tree and having sex with him, that wasn't one of them. “No,” he ground out. “I don't want to talk about it right now, Sam, okay? I mean really, what is there to say? I was pissed. I shoved you against a tree and I used you to blow off steam. Don't make a big deal about it.”

Pain shot through Sam's entire body when Dean made it sound like it didn't mean anything to him. “So...that's all it was, then?” Sam asked, willing the tears that wanted to fall away. Just because he'd been pining over Dean for years didn't mean his brother felt the same. Of course Dean didn't feel the same way – only Sam could possibly be that fucked up.

A deep frown came to Dean's lips when Sam spoke. “Did you want it to be more?” Dean asked, trying to read his brother's face. Surely, Sam didn't want it to happen again. Dean knew that he was the only one sick enough to want his brother – Sam couldn't possibly feel the same way. “Do you want it to happen again?”

Sam couldn't read Dean's expression, and it was pissing him off. He didn't want to lie anymore. They'd already crossed the line, and there was nothing stopping them from doing it again. “I-I don't know,” Sam answered, shaking his head. “I mean...I've thought about it. And...that night in Purgatory – it was...amazing. And yeah, I know it's wrong, but, Dean, I can't help it.”

That night in Purgatory had been amazing. There was no denying that. “Yeah, Sam, it is wrong,” Dean agreed. “But that doesn't seem to stop me either.” If Sam wanted to talk about this, Dean was going to make it good. “Look, if you want to do this, we'll do it. But listen good because we're only going to do this _once_.” When he received the nod from Sam, Dean continued. “That night in the woods, I wasn't thinking. I just...you pissed me off, and it had been months since I'd been with anyone, and you were there...looking so damn good like you always do. I shouldn't have done that to you, and I'm sorry.”

“Don't be sorry,” Sam interrupted. He moved closer to Dean, swallowing thickly. “You don't have to be sorry, Dean. I-I wanted it. You have no idea how much I wanted it.” Taking a chance, Sam allowed his hands to press against Dean's hips, traveling up the older man's torso. “Still want it, Dean. If-If you want it too.”

He wanted it. God, he wanted it so bad. But Dean wasn't sure if he could do it. Not again. Sam shouldn't want this. And Dean knew that it was his fault. The way they were raised – the way Dean doted on Sam like he was everything. Because to Dean, Sam _was_ everything. He didn't know what he would do without his brother. And when Sam's hands landed on him, Dean just didn't care anymore. “Fuck it,” he growled, hands moving to fist in Sam's hair as he yanked his brother into a deep, passionate kiss.

A surprised moan escaped Sam when Dean kissed him, Dean taking the opportunity to shove his tongue into Sam's mouth once his lips were parted. He wasn't wasting any time here. Quickly, Dean's hands shot to Sam's jeans, skilled fingers popping the button open before he dragged the zipper down. His hands then shoved Sam's pants down to his thighs, as far as he could get them in their current position. 

It wasn't long before Dean was stripping Sam out of his shirts, moaning softly as he allowed his hands to rake over Sam's newly bared flesh. Without warning, Dean shoved Sam backward, his hands already moving to strip out of his own clothes when his brother hit the mattress. Sam took the opportunity to kick out of his jeans and boxers, sliding back so that he was completely on the bed.

Once Dean was naked, he joined Sam on the bed, his body blanketing his younger brothers. His head dipped to press kisses up Sam's body, starting at the base of Sam's happy trail before Dean worked his way all the up to Sam's neck. He bit into Sam's skin, wanting to leave his mark there so people would know that Sam had been properly taken care of.

“O-Ow,” Sam griped, pulling away from Dean's lips as pressing his hand against his neck. “Dammit, Dean,” he complained. “You better not have given me a hickey. That'll look so bad if we have to go undercover and work a case.” And let's face it, they _always_ had to impersonate the law when they worked a case.

Smirking, Dean argued, “You love it.” He knew his brother better than anyone. And he knew that Sam liked it pretty rough. He'd have to if he spent all of his time with supernatural beings. Dean had a lot to live up to, he supposed. “Just take it.”

With that, Dean crushed their lips together once more. His fingers dug into Sam's hip as he gripped it tightly, maneuvering Sam so that he was lying on his stomach. When Sam protested, Dean shushed him, not wanting to hear it. They didn't have lube here, and he'd heard once that if a man's partner was on his stomach, it hurt less. So, until they got lube, this was the position they were going to have to be in.

Sam hated that Dean wasn't going to let him stay on his back. He wanted to be able to look Dean in the eyes this time when they were together. “Dean, please?” Sam whimpered, frowning when his brother merely shushed him. “Wanna see you,” he tried again, only to have Dean spank his ass as a warning to be quiet. 

Hot breath fanned along Sam's back and neck as Dean pressed kisses to Sam's neck and shoulders. Slowly, Dean worked his way down Sam's back, sliding lower with each kiss. Soft moans and groans broke from Sam as he writhed under Dean. He was so hard, he was sure his dick could cut glass, and Dean was just going to kiss him and drag this out? God, he was a monster. When he felt his brother's tongue slide along his crack, Sam moaned once more. “God, Dean,” he breathed, pressing his face into the pillow. “What're you doing. Don't tease me. Please?”

Again, Dean smirked as he pulled back from Sam briefly. “Don't worry baby,” he breathed, biting into Sam's left ass cheek. “You're gonna love it.” That was all the warning Sam got before Dean’s hot, wet tongue was pressing against Sam’s entrance, causing the younger man to yelp with surprise. Sam tried to close his thighs because the sensation was so new and Sam didn't know how to handle it, but Dean shouldered them apart again, letting out an almost inhuman growl against Sam’s flesh. He cried out softly when Dean’s tongue slipped past the first ring of muscle and Dean started wiggling his tongue inside him. It just felt so awkward, and Sam wasn't sure he liked it. Of course, it felt good, but Sam really just wanted to get on with the good stuff. “Dean, please stop,” he whispered, pressing his forehead against the pillow as he moaned softly in pleasure.

Little by little, Dean started to add his fingers, pressing into Sam with the help of his saliva, opening the younger man up for what was to come. He was ignoring Sam’s soft pleas for him to stop, Dean figuring that Sam didn’t really mean it. After all, Sam was moaning like a bitch in heat, pressing his body back against Dean's, so the older Winchester didn't possibly know why Sam wanted him to stop. Besides, if Sam really wanted him to stop what he was doing, the younger man could have pushed him away. But he didn't. So Dean continued, moaning softly against Sam's skin before he pulled his hand back, slapping Sam's ass sharply.

Once Dean could easily slide three fingers into Sam, he pulled back, spitting into his hand and stroking his hard, leaking dick a few times to get it wet. He then slowly pushed into Sam’s body, making sure he took his time so he didn’t hurt the younger man. As soon as he was buried to the hilt inside Sam, Dean covered Sam’s body with his own, his front pressed flush against Sam’s back as one hand came up to stroke through Sam’s sweat-damp hair. “Shh…baby, just relax,” he cooed in the younger man’s ear, pressing a soft kiss to his neck. “I’m gonna make you feel so good.”

After a few minutes, Dean pulled back experimentally, smiling when he realized that Sam must have adjusted to the invasion. He kept his movements slow at first, gradually building up to a faster, rougher pace, his hands gripping Sam’s hips as he moved to sit on his knees, maneuvering Sam’s body so that they were in the most comfortable position. Sam was on all fours and Dean thought that it was probably one of the hottest things he'd seen in his whole damn life. “Oh fuck, Sammy, so good,” Dean moaned softly, one hand sliding down around Sam’s hip to stroke his brother’s rock hard dick.

Just as Dean had gotten used to the position he and Sam were in, Sam switched it up on him. Without warning, Sam pushed himself into a kneeling position, one hand snaking around the back of Dean's head to fist in the older Winchester's hair. He moaned loudly as his mouth sought out Dean's, the younger man's tongue shoving into Dean's mouth as soon as he was given access. Dean then picked up his thrusts, angling his hips so that each time he pushed into Sam, his cock hit his little brother’s sweet spot, making Sam moan in pleasure. “God Sammy, you’re being so good for me, baby,” he moaned, his thumb flicking over the tip of Sam’s cock, gathering the precum that was resting there and using it to lube his way along his brother’s hard length.

“Dean, please?” Sam begged softly, his head resting on Dean's shoulder as he panted out his breaths. He wanted this so badly. It was almost as if he didn't get what he wanted, he was just going to die on the spot. Dean was making him feel so damn good, and he never wanted it to stop. But he knew that this couldn't last forever. Already, he could feel heat pooling low in his belly. He was going to cum, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. “God, Dean, please, don’t stop…ungh.”

It only took a few more strokes before Sam’s back was bowing, pressing his hips against Dean’s more roughly as his orgasm was ripped out of him. Dean stroked his brother the whole way through it, pressing soothing kisses along Sam’s shoulders and against his neck as his own body went rigid, balls tightening close to his body as he spilled his seed into his brother’s body.

Sated, Dean rolled off Sam and flopped onto the mattress beside him, stroking his fingers through Sam’s hair as the younger Winchester curled up beside him. He wasn't surprised that Sam was a cuddler. And normally, Dean wouldn't cuddle, but as with everything in his life, it was different when it came to Sam.

They lied in the bed together in silence for a while. Dean honestly thought Sam had fallen asleep. But when Sam's cell phone rang, the younger man moaned softly, rolling away from Dean. “H'lo?” Sam answered, his voice slurred in his sleepy state.

“Sam?” came the voice on the other line, causing Sam to straighten up. Instantly, it was like the sleep was gone from his body as he breathed Kevin's name. “I figured out how to close the Gates of Hell.”


End file.
